Why My Other Blog is 'Ivy's Light' in 2017

Just yesterday I changed the title of this blog. I’m still playing around with the layout design, but the name will not change again. Initially intending on using nicknames for my family, I cant anymore. Not when it comes to Ivy. Shes not here to give life to her name, but I am.

Ivy Rebecca

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She’s my Ivy girl. ‘Baby’ isnt her name.

Shes my Ivy, and she is my sunshine.

We had a very strong connection during my pregnancy. I recall it taking a few months for me to get attached, but once I was….I really was. I talked to her all the time in my head, and she listened. When she was active and I needed her to calm down, she did. Pleas for kicks when she had been quiet were obliged. Until the day they werent.

A week or two after everything happened I was sitting on the couch with my husband Matt. Crying to him about how I felt so disconnected from her since she died. At that moment the sunshine poured through the windows and filled me with warmth. (I know, it sounds just as cheesy and Lifetime Movie as you can get.) But I knew it was her. I KNOW it was her. At a later date, same thing happened sitting at my kitchen table with the kids. I acknowledged her, and told the kids it was Ivy, saying ‘hello’. She danced in and out of the clouds as I relished in being blinded by the strength of the sunshine. Eyes closed and it was still so strong. My girl. Giving me an “its okay, mom. Im still around.” Which brings tears to my eyes because dammit. I want her physically here with us.

She is my sunshine. And she seems to know exactly when to let her presence be shown. Thank you, sweet girl. Love you forever.

Last updated April 12, 2017