Forward Motion in 2017

Someday I’ll find coherency again, right??

Meanwhile I find myself trying to find something as small as a direction to go with this blog…and Ive got nothin. These first two weeks since Baby’s birth have been a haze at best. Feels surreal and a million years ago while also feeling like yesterday. When I decided to start this blog it was because I needed the outlet. I needed Baby to have a voice. My life has been my kids. And with Baby having no earthly life, I guess it feels necessary to write about her. Every second of her story. 281 days inside of me.

And then it ended.

So every tiny minute is important to me. Knowing my mind will fuzzy these details, I need to get them down. And hope that someone, somewhere, finds this blog and reads it. The past week especially I have had an urge to seek out other mothers who had lost pregnancies, babies, children. Scratch the surface a bit and the faces were there. I worked in OBGYN for 5 years before staying home with my children. I knew of the fragility of pregnancy. I am in awe of how often pregnancies and childbirth occur flawlessly. With so many minute details that need to be perfect…the human body is amazing.

One in four pregnancies ends in a loss.

The risk of miscarriage significantly decreases with each passing week of pregnancy.

Many feel ‘safe’ after the first 12 weeks. Or ‘safe’ after the anatomy scan shows a healthy baby. Im not sure if I’ll ever feel ‘safe’ again.

You dont hear often about still birth. But scratch that surface and I learn of people I knew in high school. Lost babies from years ago or as recent as a few months ago. Its been healing to connect. You hate knowing someone else has lost their baby, but simultaneously are SO thankful to have an ear….proof that this is survivable.

Still birth isnt as uncommon as thought.

And it needs more voice.

Because those little lives, no matter how short, mattered.

Navigating through the earliest days…weeks…needs to be talked about.

I couldn’t find much on my own.

But I can help getting the voice out there.

Last updated April 12, 2017