I’m nervous. I mean lump in your throat nervous, like you’re about to get in big trouble and don’t know what to do- nervous. It’s not like that, though. The lump in my throat is not from something I did wrong. I did something right.

I mean for the first time ever.

I’m getting married in five days. I’m marrying Katrina. She’s from Mesquite, outside of The City. She’s 1/2 Lakota-Souix, specifically the Oglala tribe, with raven black hair and pale skin. She’s absolutely beautiful, and nine years my junior, but with a soul that merits her tribe. She’s wise. She’s grounded. She’s the bottom totem, the most important, that holds the rest accountable.

She’s just what I needed. So much in my life has been thrown out to the universe.
Jon: “Hey, Universe, this is fucking crazy, but can you do this....”
Universe: “The path will be hard, but absolutely.....”

ALL of my life has been leading up to this. To Saturday. Getting hired by Major Airline, getting fired by Major Airline, moving home with ex and getting hired by Other Major Airline, breaking up with ex, and transferring to Florida with Other Major Airline..... Getting fired again (I’m a fuck up), and then working with Kelly for no money, but for rent and lifestyle (read Slave labor).... I could complain about that, but I learned SO MUCH during that period. I learned what nice things were, how to live comfortably, and learned to find my inner voice and express it when things weren’t right.

Things weren’t right. I left. My friend James, one of the Best Men in my wedding, picked me up, and dropped me off in the middle of the woods in Florida. I hiked the Florida Trail and the Appalachian Trail. I fell in a deep infatuation that I mistook for love along that journey, which was probably the most important lesson out of the hike, but I also saw, experienced, and breathed in true beauty. It gave me an inner peace I try to carry with me to this day.

Katrina was a waitress at a Mexican Restaurant next to my loft on Main Street in The City. I’d get home from Colorado (a girlfriend I had, who was AWESOME, by the way), exhausted, and just struck up conversations here and there. Eventually, the distance drove the Colorado Woman apart from me, not to mention my bachelor lifestyle (re: blowing money)(lesson learned) and I found myself drinking Margarita’s served by this beautiful raven haired waitress.

One day, she wouldn’t give me a drink unless I told her a joke. So, I did. Here’s the joke that is responsible for me getting married:

Paper Cut Scenario: How do you trap a polar bear?
Katrina: How?
Paper Cut Scenario: You cut a hole in the ice, and then place a single English Snow Pea at the edge. When the Polar Bear goes to pea, you kick him in the icehole.

I got her phone number that night.

We fell hard and fast, but not too fast the way people do. We dated a year before we moved in together. I left the penthouse and moved to the sixth floor of the same building. That led to us moving to a craftsman house about two miles away, but outside the business district. Eventually, we left that, and moved to far north City, in a place with Golf Courses, sidewalks, and no helicopters. 6

We took in a stray cat, Van Gogh, who is missing part of his ear, but is the sweetest cat in the world. Watson and Tater Tot both welcomed him with open arms. Our Nuclear fantasy started shaping up.

We were to be married in August of 2016. However, I had six surgeries in one year that posted the date back. There were four toe surgeries to repair Appalachian Trail Damage. But the two major ones were Core Decompression Surgery in my left hip, and the second was a Cholesteatoma in my left ear.

The Core Decompression involved drilling a hole into my hip bone to relieve the pressure the necrotic hip bone was putting on the healthy bone. I spent a month with a walker, putting no pressure on my leg, and then three months with a can, relearning to walk. Katrina stood by me through all of this, even rigging a basket to my walker to carry things from one room to the other.

She’d been hired with Major Airline during this same time period. Due to the pressure of learning a new job, and managements refusal for me to help her, she lost her job with Major Airline, while taking care of me. I felt so horrible. Within two weeks of their firing (I had just been promoted) they told me, “Okay, here’s her files, do what you can.” Myself and another Senior Scheduler BOTH signed her off after many ass busting nights, but..... our managers fired her anyway. Fuck them. And the horse they road in on.

Whatever, its an important part of our story.

This was all simultaneous with my surgery. They didn’t want me helping her. Actually, they blocked me from her training files, when I could’ve easily pulled up the power points from my computer to the TV and taught her.

Eventually, I cam back to work, and Katrina was on her last hope, and I told Management: “I can get her where she needs to be.” And we did. Myselft and a co-worker drilled into her the work rules. She was absolutely ready to go.

They fired her anyway.

This is the same Company that’s promoting me (#5) to Supervisor, so I tread lightly. But we went through a very difficult time. Her depression was crippling. She took six months off and i supported us, and she took care of our pets and the house, and that was absolutely acceptable to me.

Later, she got a job with Hollywood Feed, the WholeFoods of doggy/kitty stores. She loves it. She works hard, long hours, but man, I can see the happiness inside of her light up one animal at a time.

So all these chips fell into place. Just not the way, method, or timing I thought. BUT. We’re getting married on Saturday. I have no expectations. So much of the wedding, we’re running a negative balance on, and I don’t know how we’re going to pull it off, but we will, because we’re a team. And for the first time, I feel like I’m part of a TEAM.

I love Katrina so much.

I’m so fucking nervous about doing the one thing I’ve avoided for 17 years. But I’m more excited for it to just be over. The planning has been incredibly stressful. We haven’t made love since January, because we’re both stressed and just want to go to bed.

I hope when we get married, we pass out at the hotel that night. Then we fly to Albuquerque, and drive to Santa Fe or our honeymoon. Then I hope we make love, I hope we have dirty, sweaty, hardcore sex, and then I hope we make sweet love again and spoon each other to sleep.

I hope we explore a new city, holding hands the entire way. I hope when our wedding rings touch, it sends electricity up our arms.

I’ve accomplished so much in my life. I’m ready to accomplish forever.

Aprilfirst

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