Work schedule. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I was at work all day yesterday like I always am on Saturday’s and started thinking really hard about how difficult it is physically and kept trying to figure out what I was going to tell the one who does the schedule that I just want to work in the evening. Well, I tried at one point but he was pissed because someone was trying to call in and then later one of my co-workers mentioned that they wanted to work that shift so she told him and then before I went home, I let him know that her and I agreed on it.

I feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off. I’ve been wanting to get out of it for over a year and now that I’m pregnant, it’s physically just too fucking much. I’ve been struggling for weeks now and every Saturday by about 3pm, I’m dragging ass to make it through the rest of my shift and then I come home and sleep like a damn rock. I’ve always pushed my body to the max and I just can’t anymore. Being a pregnant diabetic has been super hard already and now I’m glad I’ll be able to just work strictly evening which means I can just come in, make my money, and then go home.

It drives me crazy to know that I can’t do what I used to do but I keep in mind it’s only temporary. I’ll be back to my normal self in a few months and I’m looking forward to it. Since I’ve been eating healthy all week, I’ve dropped about 7 pounds and that’s just from not eating fast food or drinking soda. Trust me, I’m in no way too thin or have to worry about losing too much but I am terrified of being a fucking blimp by the time my kid comes. I’ve been buying actual groceries and cooking meals at home and I’m so glad. It feels so much better to be eating the right things.

I’ve been at home all day. It’s been super cold and now snowing for a couple of hours. I froze all day yesterday and it’s been nice to just stay in, eat food, and watch movies today. I took a late nap so I’ll be up for awhile and I get tomorrow to myself as well. I like having days off so I can just hide out at home, relax, and recharge.

My counseling appointment on Friday went okay. We talked more about my family. They are completely selfish and difficult. I know that I can’t change that but I try not to spend much time dwelling on it anymore. None of them have really ever cared about me and I’ve been okay with it up until now. It would be really great to have people who cared about myself and my child but I really don’t have that. I have a couple of friends and that’s about it. My one friend that’s really far away kinda pisses me off though. She manages to say things that irritate me. I try to tell myself that maybe shit just comes out the wrong way but I don’t know.

I think it’s better for me to keep my distance from my family because every time I’m in contact with them, they manage to say really mean/heartless things and remind me why I stay away. I don’t expect them to care because they already show they really don’t. I have another OB appointment on Thursday and I’m not even going to mention it to my Mom because she makes everything seem like it’s a chore and takes too much effort. All she really wants to do is work and lay in bed. It’s exhausting even asking so I’m not going to waste my energy.

Anyways, I’m gonna get ready for bed.