More to stress about. in Since OD is shutting down....

Ok so he messaged my friend today saying that he wasn’t going to be able to make it to court but was going to request a conference call or CCTV. This brings on a whole new level of worry. I called and they told me that he’d have to request it in writing before the hearing and I don’t think he’s done that but court is Friday morning so if he hasn’t, he’s out of time.

I guess I don’t understand why he’s wanting to fight it anyway considering he made it sound really hopeless about even getting a car so he’s able to drive up here and see his kid. I also doubt that it will get granted for as long as I want it to, I just want it to be long enough for him to get help.

Literally I’m just ready to get Friday over with. I’m just frustrated because I’m worried that he will make it so I’ll have to go back yet again or something. I just want to go in and get the fucking RO granted and then not have to worry about him for awhile. I think it’s best for us to just not have any contact for awhile. I just want to worry about having a healthy baby and get used to being a Mom without him adding extra stress.

Everyone is telling me that whether it’s granted or not I should think about moving. Well I don’t want to do that until after the baby is born because then I’ll able to get into a better place in a better neighborhood. I don’t want to do it now and then be stuck in a damn lease for 6 months or a year. I will still keep my eyes open for a place but right now I wouldn’t be able to afford a better place then where I’m at.

Ugh, I am just ready for this chapter to be over for awhile. Again, I don’t plan to keep him away forever, just long enough for him to get some counseling and be able to talk to me like a human being. I just don’t get him and I don’t appreciate him contacting my friend. She’s not a judge, she’s not on his side and obviously him telling her his intentions is just for her to tell me.

I’ve been really down today because I’m back to having no one again. My Mom barely makes any effort and I don’t know what’s gonna happen with my niece. I just wish Eric was a normal person and we could talk for the sake of the baby but he’s made it clear that’s not an option. I think it’s bullshit that he could possibly get out of the RO even though he’s threatened to cause me bodily harm. I re-read the screenshots and I don’t know how well they will go over because he words everything so retarded that I don’t think they will interpret his crap like I did.

Anyways, work was good tonight. I came home and made tortilla soup so I can have it for lunch tomorrow. I’m just so stressed out and frustrated right now. I just hope things go well on Friday so I can end that chapter even for a few months.

Goodnight.