MOEA&S in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

My Own Excitement, Anxiety & Stress

I am presently in that weird competing emotions place.
I am excited to move back to Central Iowa. I am excited to be nearer my friends and living a life where life can happen. Those things genuinely excite me.
I am feeling a great deal of anxiety about tackling the new job. Anxiety and Excitement. I am looking forward to working with people and learning new bits of law. I am anxious to be working under people and even more anxious to be working somewhere that requires results. I haven’t had to demonstrate measurable productivity in a long time. Plus, the new gig will require me to finally master billing.... billing isn’t so easy as a lawyer. There are always exceptions and reasons you can’t charge. If it would take a skilled attorney 60 minutes to wrap up work on a case; I need to bill for ONE hour. Even if it took me three. Then add in the fact that I may get Defense Contracting gigs and that is $60 per hour to cover everything (expenses, case work, etc). Which adds a new level of stress. Getting signed up to be put on Defense Cases. So… yeah. Though I play it quite close to the chest IRL… I am certainly feeling some considerable anxiety (along with excitement) about the new position.

Of course, I realize that should be considered expected and normal. It would be insanity not to be feeling excited and anxious over a new stage in life. But over this last year… expressing emotions has gone from “A common habit of mine” to “A secret shared only with the Internet.” Despite what it may have seemed like, I am someone who (as much as I can) adapts to his environment. This is a land of stoic farmers who don’t need friends and don’t need entertainment. So I got out of the habit of talking my feelings out with people outside of Prosebox.

I suppose it should also be expected that at such early days into all of it; I’m excited and anxious about every step.
Wrapping things up in Tiny Town
Finding a place in Central Iowa
Moving into the New Place
Preparing for the New Job
Starting the New Job
Figuring out the New Job.

Yeah. Anxiety and Excitement. That’s ME!