"HEARTLESS: TO BE WITH YOU" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

To be with you
Do I really want to?
It means being cold
if possible, inside and out

To be with you
It means being ready for what’s painfully true
It means trying to be content
even when it’s not permanent

That’s okay
I guess it doesn’t really matter anyway
At least you’re honest
You don’t pretend to be the best of all choices

To be with you
It means changing what I am
acting like I don’t give a damn
but following you around
like there’s nothing better to do

If that’s what it takes
in order to be with you
then there’s a lot at stake
that I have to give up too

No, I’d rather not
You’ve always been the one I live without
Why do you keep coming back,
oblivious to what you lack?

To be with you
It means to be heartless
as love gets manipulated by lust
No, my soul will remain restless

Surely, you’ve asked the same damn thing
to other girls you find interesting
but no, you can never have me
No matter how lonely,
I am not going to be that easy!

**R.

(Jakarta, 26/1/2017 - 9:00 pm)**