Even all the time isn't enough... in Torridaussity Two

to say what you want to say, to do what you want to do.
As I kissed my grandfather goodbye tonight on his forehead, it may be the last time I will have seen him alive. The hospice people say the end is very near. I have been crying off and on for days because each time I saw him he was a little worse. Today they told us to be safe to say our final goodbyes. My heart is shattering.
The reason I wrote that last entry wasn’t really about me not feeling valuable, but more so that if I was to die first I wouldn’t have to see my grandfather die, I wouldn’t have to see my mother suffer in pain, and the actual money I am worth would help them deal with their financial issues. It felt as if my life would just be less painful if I was in heaven and not on earth. I do appreciate all of you reminding me that I am more valuable than I realize though it meant the world to me. My mom will be having surgery next week and I pray it takes away her pain, because I am not sure she will go one suffering from a broken heart from losing her father and not being healed from the agony that she is in.
Please pray for my family and I we need it.

Edit: 10:18 PM about an hour since I left 20 minutes since I wrote this, He is gone. I am broken.

Last updated February 08, 2017