Wavelength. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

It’s interesting that something I get told I have a lot of empathy, and at other times, no empathy at all. I do not consider myself an empath like some of my friends. They’re gifted - they can read ANYONE. Me, I just have a highly logical brain. If I’m paying attention, I can pick up on small clues and assemble a plausible backstory which almost always ends up being true. It’s one of those things where you think “Nah, that’s too obvious. Oh. Oh, I was right. Damn it, I hate when I’m right.”

Thing is, I’ve had issues in the past with partners accusing me of not relating to them, or not understanding where they’re coming from. I’m reminded of the phrase “put yourself in someone else’s shoes”. Which I used to think meant “ask yourself how you would feel if it happened to you.” The problem is that this has resulted in me not exactly understanding what my partner feels. I’ve gotten into arguments when partners will say “How would you feel if…” and gee, I think I’d react quite differently. It’s more appropriate to say “Ask yourself how THEY would feel if this happened.”

Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t consider that, gasp, other people react to the world differently. Duh, of course everybody is different. But I consider myself lucky to have found a girlfriend who thinks extremely similarly to how I think. So in any given situation or conversation, I simply have to ask myself, “How would Timmy feel? What does Timmy think about this?” I simply say those things, and there’s instant understanding and connection. We build on that single wavelength of thought/feelings, rather than trying to understand two wavelengths of thought/feelings.

They say opposites attract. Hey, if that works for you, great. Me, I’m just glad I found genderswap Timmy.