so valerie. again. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

<< cont’d from last entry.

right so i guess i just really needed someone to talk to. anyway so today earlier i told valerie about how my sister had been. that she wasn’t that nice a person. and valerie of course tried to get me to see my sister’s side of things. again i’m not stupid. i can usually figure those kindof things out on my own. and also i like being annoyed. things were so much better when we didn’t meet and this is a reason why. um. and she was telling me how to put things when i talk to my sister about it.which btw i’m not planning to do. i told her what i’d put in here about it. i didn’t want to be told what to do about it i just wanted her to validate me ad have that be it. and maybe at some point i’ll stop telling her things if this is what’s going to keep happening. and we can just have a fake relationship like i had w/ evan for awhile. i don’t mention things she doesn’t say anything and i don’t get annoyed. untill like april. oh she also told me that when i told my dad i didn’t want his help w/...........um putting the leftover pasta in the container that i could’ve gone ‘no thank you’. well i won’t cause actually no i didn’t appreciate it and i’m not going to act like i did. sorry but i wasn’t put here to be polite. you see my problem? i like how i am which is why i don’t want to be like her. all perfect and supernice to everyone. no be fukin real damnit! when she gets bothered by something i’m actually relieved. it’s like oh thank god there’s an actual real person in there someone i can relate to. good. this is the exact same problem i had w/ stephanie. oh that’s the other thing. when i was saying i can’t relate to my sister she was saying i should find something i can relate to her on. um i didn’t really want her help and no not planning to do that.

good god no wonder i need a drink right now. it won’t solve anything no but it might actually calm me down it has before.