so apparently. today. valerie. in 2017. got it.

god do i need a drink.

so apparently. so here’s what happened today. long day. so I went to the home depot area as usual. and i was at safeway when valerie called. and i ignored the call cause i wasn’t planning on meeting w/ her. [well i never really want to that much.actually]. no but um. she hadn’t gotten at me saying we were meeting today. in fact as i’ve stated the last time she emailed me was the 16th. well so later when we talked about it she said she had. no i actually never got an email from her about today. and i still haven’t even though it’s already done and over w/. so that part isn’t my fault.
well. so when I was at Safeway and she called i’m like really when i’m already out oh that’s convenient. well at some point my mom had called. well by that point i’d already spent the money.that my mom had given me. [so i got a toothbrush and cheese w/ it.cause i needed a new toothbrush. and also cheese]. and i told my mom this. i mean i was fine. like i was out but i was fine they knew where I was the lady & her husband. but maybe that’s not the point. the only reason i called valerie back was bc my mom had called. and when i saw that she had called it’s like ‘uh oh’. otherwise i would’ve gone about my day. and also. i was expecting after 30 mins. for valerie to just give up on me. to drive back to her place. that’s what i would’ve done. I also don’t expect people to stick around. and i didn’t really want her to. i don’t want to see her that much.
yeah um yesterday I was all preparing myself for not meeting w/ her for awhile. and i was just fine w/ that. Sure there are some benefits to meeting w/ her but it’s not mentoring that’s for sure. The benefits are as i’ve mentioned. financial, convention and appearances. again i don’t actually need a mentor. cause usually i can figure thing s out on my own. and usually i don’t want to be told the other person’s side. see and this is another reason i like not meeting w/ her. Meeting w/ her wasn’t doing anything for me. but see last wk when my mom & I were talking about it i thought she since i don’t read my emails that she was going to take away my seeing valerie.cause she has done that before. i thought it would be like ‘well since you won’t do this then you don’t get to have this’. the ‘this’ being seeing valerie. yes but that wouldn’t have had much impact on me since again. i don’t actually look forward to seeing her. so. and yeah honestly a part of me was hoping that would happen. The part i wouldn’t like about it is it wouldn’t happen the way i want it to.
um so. valerie & I talked about the email thing. she’s like ‘well since you won’t read your emails and you don’t want me to call and leave a voicemail and you don’t want me going through other people then what am i supposed to do?’. well a call. and 2 if i don’t answer don’t call someone else. no. after 30 mins. then just give up. i’m really ok w/ that plan. good i don’t have to see her good. it’s wasting her time to come down and have nothing happen really? yeah well it’s wasting my time having her insult my intelligence. i’m not that hard a person to get ahold of if people know the right way to get ahold of me.
so apparently. We’re meeting Mon. now. which i didn’t know before she told me we were. which was my going out day and it was going to be the next 3 wks. but now it’s not. no now i won’t have one for the next 3 wks.
um. wow long day.

Last updated July 16, 2018