185: Lets Do This in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

0932
I missed my alarm today… which is strange. I woke up at 8:30 a.m. Good to get the extra sleep but it looks bad when I live closest to the office and I’m the last person there. When I got in to the office… super concern. Cecilia’s husband is dying and so she hasn’t been here all week. Her absence usually wouldn’t be a big ordeal; but this week was the Collections Court Week. Cecilia is our Collections Person. We got a call from someone who needed their license suspension lifted ASAP because they just started a job where they need to drive. I don’t know how to do that. I’m trying to figure it out but… I understand the guy’s frustration. Our inability to do our job is directly impacting his ability to work. Now, I certainly don’t blame Cecilia… her husband is dying, you should be by his side… that is just a no-brainer. But it is an awkward position for us all. He needs his DL (some people would say “He shouldn’t have broken the law to get it suspended in the first place!”); we need to do our job (some people would say “Everyone there should be able to take care of it!”)… and there is just… no way to do it. I’ve been on the phone with the Clerk of Court all morning trying to get it resolved but… who knows if it will be. I just feel… terrible that I don’t know enough to be able to provide an expected service to this citizen. And that makes me wonder… maybe this is the right job… or if not the right job, the right field? Because… I genuinely want to help people. I am authentic about that. I want to find solutions that take care of problems and take care of people. So… Prosecutor… I’m not going to destroy someone for making a stupid mistake; but I am going to make sure if someone is a recurring problem, they are dealt with. Hopefully… people see me as genuine and authentic. Which is bizarre because I was looking to be an actor for 16 years!

1000
Uhm… huh. So, I had a schedule for today ready to go. Bit by bit, outlining everything I needed to do. And yes, it would have meant 12 of 13 cases were taken care of. I just spent the last half hour catching up on News and trying to compile a Fact-Based Research-Based case on why and how certain government fixes need to happen on the Federal level. Which is not work, nor on my schedule. It is times like this that an old question swirls in my head:
Am I like this because I need more stimulation… or am I like this because I need less?
It is an old question because it was heavily debated in my youngest years. I scored off the charts in loads of subjects and was considered for Advanced Placement Classes in Elementary School. But I was abysmal in math. God awful, terrible, borderline developmentally disabled in math. So they just split the difference. I spent my life in “Normal” classes… never turning in homework, never doing any of the work in most classes and getting As and Bs. Busting my ass, high anxiety, stressing out over Math work and getting Cs and Ds. And that is how I wound up where I am and how I am. I certainly have a work ethic. I know that things need to be done by a certain time and they should be done by that time. But in 32 years… rarely have I faced a deadline I couldn’t conquer within 48 hours. Again (then) I wonder… is this something preventing me from moving on or is this something that means I need to? Am I here because I need to learn how to do consistent work every day… or since there is so little to here anyway, is this evidence I need to move on quickly?

1017
Along those lines… Cracked.com had a Cosplay article today. I used to Cosplay. When I was 120 lbs… it was a lot EASIER to do The Joker. As I gained weight… Mad Hatter; Punisher; Superman; and then finally “Fat Riddler.” I would love to learn how to do GOOD Cosplay… like “an impressive Handsome Jack” or “Badass Chirrut Îmwe” or even “Believable Henchman 21”. That being said… I am interested in feedback on Why There Are No Winners When You Wear A Sexy Cosplay Outfit.

Oh… and speaking of Cracked.com.... the world has become a place where if it isn’t “easily referenced” or “entertaining” people don’t care. Trump News you should know.

1130
Muahaha… lets see how much of my schedule I can do in only HALF the time! Except… lets not forget how stupid I am… as I have a massive headache and my stomach is growling… because I did not eat breakfast… and don’t know if I’ll be getting lunch.

1300
No lunch yet. But I anticipate that, provided no other surprise emergencies pop up… my report writing work will be done by two; leaving me with 4 phone calls, 1 report, and 1 judgement entry left for my cases.

1450
(Of course… emergencies popped up. Meaning, I now do have a lot of what I wanted to do today finished… but I’m feeling weak and the headache is still there and it is also massive neck pains. Bah!) So… I need to go to the Courthouse and hope that the last needed report is there… so I can write my report… then if time, 4 phone calls… then if time and opportunity, 1 Deferred File. So… honestly… I completed 59% of my Day’s Work… in just the last 3 hours. But… hunger… is great… headache is worse… must grab food on way to courthouse.

1530
Food eaten, Files Gathered. One more report to file today (for sure). Defense Counsel called me (good, calling them was on my list for the day) but when I called back they were busy. It is a case where… I really want to do the right thing, but I keep accidentally complicating matters. Hopefully, Defense Counsel will be understanding (since I am trying to help their client a bit). Especially as this particular defense counsel is assigned 3 of the 4 cases I opened today.

And with that… I think I’m out. There are really only three things I 100% NEED to do tonight.
(1) Update my pathfinder Character
(2) shower
(3) sleep.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Last updated January 13, 2017