Another day. in Since OD is shutting down....

Today hasn’t been too bad. I of course hung out at home all day by myself like I always do and then I bought a baby swing before work. It’s super cute and I love the colors. It swings, vibrates, and plays music. I also bought a gift set that included diaper rash cream, lotion, baby shampoo, and soap. I also need to buy a thermometer too.

Work was good, it went super fast and I didn’t have to do a lot. I got off an hour early and bought groceries at Walmart. I got the boneless buffalo wings I wanted for lunch tomorrow and some other things. I still forgot some flavored water so I have nothing to drink but plain water or milk. Ugh.

Heather called earlier and was trying to talk me into taking the Summer off and staying with them so I can babysit and work evenings and weekends. I just can’t help but feel like she’s more worried about things benefiting her than me. I can’t just take 3 months off work because I have bills that HAVE to get paid or I’m going to be in deep shit. I can’t just take off because I have responsibilities here that include bills and animals. I also don’t want to be that far away when I go into labor because I would be too worried I’d forget shit I needed.

I originally planned to take a couple of months off when I have my kid but I just don’t think I’m going to be able to afford to do that. I can’t exactly bank on Eric paying his child support and the state helps with money but it’s not very much and from what I know, it varies depending on your situation. I would just need some to get me through until I got back to work but I don’t think they’d give me enough so I can stay home longer with baby. I need to find out more about it though and just see instead of assuming too.

Most of the time I’m super excited and confident about everything but I have those moments where I completely freak out on the inside. This is a job built for 2 and somehow I get to figure out how to do it with just me. It’s frightening to say the least. I know that freaking out and being sick with worry isn’t going to solve anything and that’s why I’m trying really hard to remain calm and just have faith that things will work out.

Anyways, I’m going to fall asleep so I’ll write more tomorrow.