2016 Survey in Diary

I’ll write about my Christmas in another entry, I just feel like doing this right now.

[1] What did you do in 2016 that you have never done before?
Now then, this list is going to be quite long.
Ran 5k without stopping.
Entered a running event.
Planned a wedding.
Found a dead body.
Lost my fiance, the love of my life.
Cancelled a wedding.
Organised a funeral.
Spoke at a funeral.
Sorted out a deceased person’s affairs.
Found out I’d been cheated on.
Went to court.
Started probate.
Started sorting out getting a house on the market.
Got promoted at work.

[2] Did you keep all of last years resolutions?
I don’t normally make them, if I want to do something I just do it instead of waiting until New Year.

[3] Have you any goals for next year?
Sell the house. Get through it all without losing my sanity any further. Start exercising again.

[4] Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that I can remember.

[5] Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my fiance Jay. I guess I’d been lucky in life so far not to lose anyone close to me.

[6] What countries did you visit?
Apart from England where I live, I just went to Spain for a week.

[7] What would you like to have in 2017 that you didn’t have in 2016?
A man I can trust.

[8] What dates in 2016 will remain etched in your memory and why?
11th October - the day Jay died.
28th October - Jay’s funeral.

[9] What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Somehow having the strength to get through Jay’s death, cancelling the wedding, organising the funeral and sorting out his affairs.

[10] What was your biggest failure?
Not realising just how bad Jay’s depression was and keeping him alive.

[11] Did you suffer any illness or injury?
No physical illness, but I’m currently taking pills for anxiety.

[12] What was the best thing you bought?
My car, my iPhone 6.

[13] Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Every single person who helped me through Jay’s death either with messages, hugs, financial support, practical support, lending an ear. Every little thing helped.

[14] Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Jay, not only for leaving me behind but also for cheating on me and getting into all that debt.

[15] Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, Jay’s funeral.

[16] What did you get really really really excited about?
Mine and Jay’s wedding, which is now not going to happen.

[17] What songs will always remind you of 2016?
I can’t really think of any.

[18] Compared to this time last year are you :
• a) Lighter or heavier? Probably around the same.
• b) Happier or sadder? Much, much sadder.
• c) Richer or poorer? About the same at the moment, who can say what will happen over the next few months while I have to run the house on my own until it’s sold?

[19] What do you wish you’d done more of?
Paying attention to Jay, seeing if I’d missed any cries for help.

[20] What do you wish you’d done less of?
I don’t know.

[21] How did you spend Christmas?
With my parents and other family, up in Cumbria.

[22] Which OD (PB!) users did you meet for the first time?
No-one.

[23] Did you fall in love in 2016?
No.

[24] How many one night stands?
None.

[25] What was your favourite TV programme?
Nothing in particular that I can think of.

[26] Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
A girl called Kirsty who I have never met but I believe contributed to Jay’s death.

[27] What was/were the best books you read?
I don’t get to read as much as I would like.

[28] What was your greatest musical discovery?
I can’t think of anything.

[29] What did you want and get?
A promotion at work.

[30] What did you want and not get?
My fiance to stay loyal to me and to stay alive to marry me next year.

[31] What was your favourite film this year?
I will say Star Wars Rogue One, as it’s the most recent one I saw.

[32] What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
It was the day after Jay died so I basically spent the day staring at the wall, telling people he had died and trying to sort some things out. I turned 35.

[33] What one thing made your year more satisfying than 2015?
Nothing at all.

[34] How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Maybe a little bit quirky.

[35] What kept you sane?
All my friends and family rallying round.

[36] Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
Probably still Ewan, I haven’t really thought about it.

[37] Which political issue stirred you the most?
Brexit & the US election.

[38] Who did you miss?
Jay

[39] Who was the best new person you met?
Dave

[40] Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so make the most of today. Tell the people you love how much you love them as often as you can. Grab every opportunity for happiness.

[41] What quote can be used to sum up your year?
Shit.