So I am no longer fiancéed to someone. I was drugged at New Years in New York and I apparently got a bit flirty with a guy we've both kissed previously. I wasn't at my best, I wasn't right or myself either but I am the one to wear the blame for what happened. I kissed someone else and she freaked out and basically she doesn't believe in the love I feel for her anymore. There you go. She blames me of preventing her to travel, of keeping her from chasing her dreams, from working out, from keeping her from creating art. Basically, everything that happened in her life in the past year is because of me.
I can deal with a lot of things but wearing the blame for all this? While I put a lot on the side for her as well? It just doesn't work with me. I will wear the blame of having one too many drinks. Ok. I will not wear the blame for the drugs nor for everything else. I apparently keep making excuses that prevent me from traveling? Shit, I make a bit fat 25k a year and it's because I work instead of studying! 6k of this is going to the rent, 5k goes for school, 2k for cats and 2k bus, 2k for the food, etc. That doesn't leave me with much at the end of the year. I usually travel once or twice but that's all I can allow myself because I do not own all. Being poor sucks and I dream of having a job that'll give me 30k a year so I can put that extra 5k somewhere to save! I don't have that luxury because jobs here suck.
It annoys me, guys. She's not wearing my ring so I am not wearing hers. A shame I spent a ring like this though, that sapphire was gorgeous.
Then, she wants to buy another pup, she wants to buy a house, travel the world, settle in, have a child now and I can't do that! I can't settle in like this, I can't move to Norway because she cannot sponsor me; she doesn't want to. So, there is no space for me in her life. Probably that there's never been one. I've always been the person you go to when you need to or when you have no one around. What a fool am I! While she makes 2014 her year, I'll make 2014 my year as well.
I won't travel, I will just save money, I will travel in Iceland in 2015 with the pup and so be it.
I'm back on the market, guys, as much as it hurts.
I just want my farm in 3 years and be somewhere in Ontario with murphy and have that peace of mind I'm fucking craving right now.
Loading comments...