Maya Angelou in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

I’m at work typing this because there’s nothing better to do. I just got a prank call from some kid claiming to be asking questions about PS4 vs X Box One, but I realized it was a prank call when he started asking which one will give his son the highest resolution when he watches porn. I just smiled, kids are amusing at the very least. Then I transferred his dumb-ass to the Spanish speaking line.

My grandmother was rushed to the hospital this week. I was getting ready for work and my mother just casually says, “Oh, Grandma went to the ER this morning because she couldn’t breathe. Apparently they’re going to induce a coma.” I literally dropped what was in my hands, grabbed my keys and ran out the door while my mother was still talking. About 15 minutes later, she called me and asked me where I ran off to and I just said, “I’m in the ER with Grandma”. I really wanted to say, “Why aren’t you here with your FUCKING mother?!” As strained of a relationship as I have with my mother, you can bet I’d still be in the hospital with her if she were incredibly ill.

Then when she showed up, she made it all about her. How her day was ruined because of this interruption, and she had so much to do, and how she really wanted a map. I just thought, we all want a nap, bitch, it’s called LIFE! And we do get a nap, it’s called DEATH. UGH….

Apparently my grandmother was having one of her dementia spells because they later told me that she didn’t recognize anybody until I came in the room. She squeezed my hand so tight it was a little frightening. I also found out that my mother was overdramatizing, she wasn’t going to be put into a coma. Later that night, my grandmother told me she didn’t remember the whole day and asked me why she was in the hospital.

It’s so hard seeing her suffer like this. She’s the toughest person I’ve ever known in my life. She has survived so much and she just keeps going and fighting and living. I know that her time is almost up, but I can’t help but be glad she’s still here.

I fucked a 21 year old earlier this week. I really wasn’t planning on it. The drama of my grandmother’s hospital visit left me feeling vulnerable and lonely, so I hopped on Grindr and ended up with a young, sweet 21-year-old Latino boy in my bed. It took him a whole 45 minutes before he could take even half my dick. Then I lost my balance and plowed the rest of the way into him and he screamed in pain. I felt really bad and pulled out quickly, but he just told me to shove it back in because the worst of it was over.

Richard was calling me all week and checking in with me because of the incident with my grandmother. Just a few days after Christmas, he’ll be all moved back to San Francisco and he said he’s going to come visit me. It’ll be the first time he has been back to Sacramento in almost six years. On Instagram, they have that ridiculous “nine best” pictures of the year, and when I hosted his, I totally realized how fucking gorgeous he is.

I took a screen cap of his pictures and messaged him “I want you on my face”

He replied, “You say the sweetest things.”

So I said, “I’m fucking Maya Angelou!”

He just laughed at it.

Tuesday is the Stevie Nicks concert. I’m excited about going but I’m a little annoyed about it. I mean, I spent the extra money to sit in the fourth row, I got the VIP tickets with the t-shirt and the program and the whole she-bang, but I’m doing it all alone. I’ve always done everything alone and I’m getting a little tired of it. I just want to have a friend with whom I could do things, but I guess that’s just not in the cards right now.

I used to be certain that I wouldn’t always be alone, but now I’m not so sure.