Suppository, no support system. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I finally broke down and did a suppository. I did juice, stool softeners, Miralax, Milk Of Magnesia and a shit ton of water, and still nothing. I finally went within about 5 minutes and feel somewhat better. I know there’s still more in there but at least now I know what is actually effective in making it come out. Stupid constipation. I stopped the prenatal yesterday and will buy some prenatal gummies tomorrow. I know that it’s the iron from those damn things causing it and want to clear it out of my system because I can’t risk constipation due to my anal tear coming back.

I’m currently 7 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The only support I have is my youngest nephew’s Mom who is 20 hours away who calls on her way to work and sometimes on her way home. No one else has made much effort. I’ve only known for a little over 2 weeks but so far, a lot of people have been super negative and down right rude. I had a friend text earlier and I said I needed to start hanging out with people and she replies, “oh yeah” so it’s like I don’t see the point in always texting someone but never talking to them on the phone and never seeing them.

My Mom and Dad don’t care because as usual they have their own drama to deal with. My Mom has known for months that she’s losing her job, just didn’t know when. Well they told her yesterday that her last day is the 30th. She of course hasn’t looked for another job and probably won’t so they’ll be trying to hit me up for money, knowing I’m pregnant and don’t have any help from the father. No one in my family has done anything to be supportive or be around at all and it’s really starting to get to me when all I’ve done is always be there for them.

I just wish I had people that cared about me. I don’t even feel any attachment to the people I work with. I don’t have any actual friends there anymore and I just go to make money and go home now. I honestly don’t like where I’m at emotionally but there’s nothing I can do. I can’t force anyone to hang out with me or give a shit. I get jealous when I see people on Facebook hanging out together, making Christmas goodies or going to movies. I can’t even remember the last time I was asked to do any of that. I’m just frustrated.

None of this bothered me back when I worked all the time. Now I have way too much free time and nothing to do with it. I have too much time to sit and dwell on shit and it’s driving me fucking crazy.