Tender Mercies in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

"Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice! Let Your ears be attentive To the voice of my supplications..." (from Psalm 130)

Perhaps the most fundamental lesson in Christianity is "in God's time". Seldom a sermon or lesson or conversation in Christian life passes without the mention of all things come to pass as God plans, not as we might. Over the past seven or so months I have come to a more concise understanding, God is preparing me for His works. strengthening my perseverance and lightening my sense of suffering in the long run, at times I even find genuine joy in my trials, though admittedly not often.

I've been thinking about Moses' life. Born a Jew, raised by Egyptians in the highest standard of living for forty years, throws it all away when he commits murder and goes on the run, ends up a lowly shepherd for another forty years. There are two full lifetimes, one of royalty and the other of hard work and living meal to meal. A humbling change of life. But I got looking at God's timing verses Moses' timing. Moses at some point discovered he was actually a Jew and eventually sought to avenge his brothers for the abuses from the Egyptians by killing an Egyptian. God indeed planned for Moses save the Jews from Egypt but the way He intended, when He intended. First God had to prepare Moses to be ready for such a great work.

For months I have been asking God to reveal to me what He wants for me to do and I have not heard his voice. Knowing that doesn't necessarily mean He isn't speaking to me, nor that I am not listening I continued praying for revelation. I did become weary at times because my heart was growing weak, my trials long, my faith all I could muster, my support often was God alone. I knew He was sufficient, but I was focused on my timing. I wasn't remembering He was preparing me, instead like Moses I thought being willing made me ready.

Today I returned to church for my Sunday school and Discipleship classes as well as two services. I felt so happy to be with my church family again. I was like a sponge soaking up the lessons, sermons and fellowship. Hearing other Christian voices express how they are walking with Christ filled my heart to overflowing. I was so very hungry and God fed me in every way.

Those times when a lesson on scripture is Light instead of confusion and sermons seem to be written just for me, when people express a kindness that heals a pain and the Living Water is there and I drink from His well, I am abundantly blessed.

Many a prayer have I said asking God to reveal Himself to me, for a long time it seemed I was coming up empty. Even though I was reading in the Bible daily and studying in many other ways I just didn't feel I was connecting the way I thought I should. One day I decided to begin reading the Bible at the beginning, just as a book of God's story. I might have been in the third chapter of Genesis when the story started grabbing my interest in the way a good novel might. By the time I got to Exodus I was hooked. Like a puzzle the larger picture was beginning to form, all the scriptures I had been randomly reading for 18 months were connecting. I was also beginning to know God on an entirely new level and it excited me. If you've read the Bible you probably know how life changing this is.

Spin back to this morning when I arrived at church and was greeted joyfully by a number of people who expressed they had missed me and were glad to see me again. Pastor told me there were some things on the table in the fellowship hall for me. Was I shocked at what I found. There was a gift bag and card from a Secret Pal and twelve other cards. The gift was a beautiful book of scriptures, the twelve cards were from Christmas (I was out of town at my son's), all with personal notes inside. I had been warming up to this church for some time but today I felt they considered me part of their family and I felt loved by my brothers and sisters. My cup runneth over.

Tonight I returned for a preview of the Easter cantata during which I got a phone call from one of the church ladies. The Lord sent her to me to discuss her grandson going into a treatment program to address his Oxycodone addiction. She had so many questions and fears and Jesus was on my lips when I spoke with her. A couple months ago she shared with me how she had been praying for him to get help and asked me to keep him in prayer. I know this is God's providence at work because before I retired I was an Addictions Therapist and this lady does not know anything about my professional or personal background. I'm blessed twice, once by serving a sister, secondly by discovering my background is still of value. All things to the good of the Lord.

Imagine now, if you can, my night was blessed yet again. After church was a birthday party for the pastor. A wife of one deacon came to me to discuss an upcoming retreat, asking if I would consider attending, qualifying it might not be something I'm interested in but they wanted me to go. She showed me the literature and I'll be darned if it isn't a women's retreat to prepare for working in the mission field which is exactly what I have been praying about for months. I didn't know if God was leading me there because doors weren't opening. I do believe a door opened tonight. There are no obstacles to my going, transportation is taken care of and every expense is being covered through the church. I just have to say yes or no. Though I can't imagine not deciding to go I still need to pray about this, just because I'm learning to pray first, speak second.

The lesson of Moses being prepared by God to do His works is one I reflect on tonight because I see now God has been preparing me, too. My journey had been moving along all the while, I just couldn't see it because I kept looking down the road instead of back from where I had come. A friend once asked me if I could see a tree grow. Of course I said, no. He asked me if I went back twenty years later would I then be able to see if the tree had grown. The point was, and is, I don't always see my growth or God working in my life, but it still is happening.

Thank you, Lord!