7 weeks!!! in Since OD is shutting down....

Today has been ridiculously busy for me and I was about to scream by the time I finally got home. I had to go to the food bank this morning because I’m so broke and needed some damn food. Honestly, I’m ashamed because I’ve always made decent money and having to go to the food bank was just awful. I was there for waiting for over an hour and finally was able to leave!!! I was so worried I was gonna be late for baby appointment.

I had a ‘friend’ that was supposed to come with me but conveniently didn’t check her messages until I was to pulling in the parking lot of the dr office. I was super pissed about it because once again, NO ONE CAN EVER FUCKING BE THERE FOR ME!!! I was furious. Then, a med student came in and had an argumentative tone and tried to argue with me about my diabetes and what type I was until I finally lost my shit and told him to go get the fucking doctor!!! The doc came in and asked if the med student could sit and in and I said fuck no!!! I’m not going to deal with anyone acting like I’m lying about being a diabetic or what fucking type I am!! Being a diabetic isn’t something to play with and I wouldn’t wish this bullshit disease on my worst fucking enemy!!

Anyways, he said that I need to be eating healthy, no sugars and put me on 2 different kinds of insulin. I had a helluva time getting one this evening and have to go back tomorrow for the other one because they were out. I’m not thrilled about this because I have to take 4 injections a day now, instead of once a week. He wants my sugars under 100 and that seems dangerous to me because I don’t always get to eat at work. I’ll make sure I always have it with me but I just won’t take it if I don’t get to eat. I am going to have to say something to my boss about this because it is serious shit and I don’t want my kid to suffer because I can’t eat.

They did the pap and the vaginal ultrasound. When I saw the heartbeat and could hear it, I was in absolute awe. I can’t believe I’m growing a human and now have 2 different heartbeats!!! It is so neat. I go back in a couple of weeks and I’m sure they’ll do another ultrasound. I have pictures and sent them to my friend. I plan to get a scrap book for all my baby pics and what not.

So after I left there and did bloodwork, I decided it was time to just bite the bullet and tell my Mom. She was on her lunch break and I got in her car with her. I didn’t say the words, I just handed her the ultrasound pictures. She was so excited and positive!!! Her reaction made me so glad I told her. I got the reaction I never thought possible. She said she was completely shocked because no one ever thought I’d have kids. She wrote down my next appointment and is going to try and come with me. I’m glad I told her because you really don’t know how someone will react to something until you give them the chance.

It was brutally cold today and it’s going to be the next couple of days. I couldn’t wait to come home tonight and get in where it’s warm. Not sure when it will snow again but this cold is enough to deal with.

My Mom told me my Dad is worried about me being a single parent because it’s hard work and I told her that plenty of single parents raise kids. I didn’t say much about Eric as I don’t know what the next few months will bring and because I want everyone to make their own opinion of him. I still plan to leave him blocked as of now simply because I’m dealing with enough for quitting smoking, my diet and deal with my new insulin regimen that I don’t need to fight and argue with someone but I do hold on to some hope that he’ll get his shit together in the next few months but I know the chances are slim and nill. He’s gone out of state for college before and always comes back. I think he goes just to get a break from here and bounces back and forth because he wears out his welcome.

Anyways, I need to finish drinking water and start getting ready for bed. I work tomorrow afternoon and want to get plenty of sleep since I didn’t get a nap today. I also need to do my laundry tomorrow too. Goodnight everyone.