Live Broadcasting in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

8:00 a.m.
I had the oddest dream last night. I was holding three jobs that could be done simultaneously but unethically. I was delivering Book Storage to businesses, selling security devices door to door, and canvassing for a politician. But as I was doing my job, I ran into a USPS employee who seemed to be following me… played by Mike Rowe. And then there was a silver haired individual who was very helpful but seemed to be at every one of my stops and acting a little… suspicious? Protective? And that gentleman was Leroy Jethro Gibbs (as played by Mark Harmon). The dream ended in a Luxury Watch Store. Mike Rowe was about to drop off some boxes and I volunteered to do it since I was headed in anyway. As we’d seen each other on similar routes so much, he acquiesced but it was also because Gibbs and (now) Tony DiNozzo (as played by Michael Weatherly) were setting something up to get them both into the Watch Store as well. The three of us walked into the store and I went directly to the drop off point. Instead of any kind of closet door or anything; it was a small 3 foot by 3 foot hole that I had to pass the boxes into. The employee I was engaging with was speaking Spanish and the only thing I caught clearly was “Mar (unintelligible) es mal.” I told her to have a nice day and told Tony that the employee said something about a beach that was bad. Then I woke up. Strange dream.

9:00 a.m.
Not much going on. I look over a messy desk and a bulging drawer of too many cases and feel that same old apathy and desire to shrug my shoulders and burn the place. I think to myself how I should have called in today. Spent the day in quiet contemplation and preparation for the interview tomorrow. Too late now. Maybe I’ll sneak out early instead.

9:45 a.m.
The disabled cleaning crew arrived. Ultimately, this means that work is finished until they leave due to the volume and intrusiveness of the crew. It seems their numbers have grown since last they were here. That could either mean that the job will get done quicker OR that it will happen at the same speed but be louder and less organized. The “interruption” (for it should not truly be called an interruption if I was doing nothing of importance) caused time to reflect on something dancing in my thoughts. What makes me think I can do the job in Des Moines since I can’t do the job here? Well… for one, apathy is a powerful force. Since I don’t care about this place (and in truth, would rather see it destroyed) I’m not motivated to do anything on its behalf. Second, more importantly, I am a people pleaser. For God’s Sake, there are very few people that spend as much time in the Theater as I do without a fundamental need to make other people happy (and/or make other people look at them!) Working completely alone with no other human to connect with or compare notes with or anything… of course I take my sweet bloody time and put things off. Nobody is going to notice nor care. In short, as tragic as this may seem, I am not a pure self-starter. Certainly, I can tackle a project and accomplish that which needs to be accomplished. But solo versus crowded? Solo will always be a dragging experience that consumes far more time and energy.

11:00 a.m.
I am actually doing my work. I am collecting Discovery Material, writing letters to attorneys, cleaning my desk… and it is boring. I mean… this isn’t me saying “OMG, my job is boring how did I get here?” this is more… “The actual practice of law is monotonous and tedious. This is often broken up in law school and Firm environments through passion in the work, a good team spirit, or an active out-of-work life that provides the excitement and life-affirmation needed.” I receive none of that. I’m merely slogging through the work so that I’ve actually done something today before going home and playing video games again. :Le sigh:. Another reason why I really need to nail that interview tomorrow! Because… if “Abby” is correct… this is a job where one can find passion, purpose, and enjoyment… just not here.

11:10 a.m.
Well, here’s something that isn’t at all surprising. Yesterday, I spoke with a Police Officer about a case he was worried about. I asked him about Discoverable Material. I asked him repeatedly if I had everything he had on the case. He assured me he had turned everything over and I was good to send it back to the Defense Lawyer. Except… nowhere in here is an inventory… and the defendant was placed in jail so there had to be an inventory. But… that isn’t surprising, I guess. I mean… I’m a guy that believes in professionalism and this place has me acting Half-Assed… I can’t imagine how it is for people who don’t believe in professionalism! With that… disappointment, I should say, I turn to the internet for distractions and advice. First: See What Your 90s Crush Looks Like Now. I suppose they weren’t too off the mark. Of my 90s crushes, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Daniel Fishel, and Alyssa Milano were present. THEN… off to the important things. Job Interview Questions and Answers, How To Ace The Law Firm Interview, Law Firm Interviewer Tips, and 5 Things Firms Want You To Say In An Interview.

12:00 p.m.
I don’t often go for lunch or grab food at all. Probably a mistake. But today… I need the energy and motivation a meal can provide. I need to consume something so that I may charge into the second half of my day with some kind of vigor and a desire to DO SOMETHING.

12:30 p.m.
While eating, my interview was scheduled for 3 p.m. tomorrow. I am in emotional tatters over the prospect because… I want to go home so badly… but I can’t get my hopes up too high… it is a difficult market to access and they are interviewing (likely) a dozen people for the position. My mom knows me well though. I called to let her know and explained my emotional state which she summarized as my brain saying: ”Calm down…no, get excited! It could be great.....no, it probably won’t work. Wait! I got called for an interview....wait, I have been to a billion interviews. Cool! Hot! Good! Bad! Wonderful! Terrible!” Which… is pretty accurate.

1:00 p.m.
And now I shall shut Prosebox down and… probably vacantly stare at my desk in an effort to clean, organize, and make forward progress. I get that I am down to less than 4 new cases a month (painfully slow) but I am not up to 4 closed cases a month. As I despise both how slow things are and how cluttered my case files are getting.... I owe it to my own sense of logic to take a more active stance on getting cases finished. Fingers crossed… all over the place. Fingers crossed on a good interview tomorrow. Fingers crossed on getting work done tonight.

Just for fun… because I see this in Tinder-Fail websites a lot and, frankly, love it with a perverse and potentially cruel glee.