Rhapsody in Blue in 2013

And it's a new year already. The month's go by way to fast anymore, except when you want them to. Then they drag by with agonizing slowness.

I'm really feeling the slowness right now.

In December, Ben and I made the decision to live apart for a couple of months to save money. It was the only choice that made sense. He started working up at Xerox and the schedule meant Robbie and I would have to come back to my parents during the week to make sure we got to work and school. Rather than have to deal with the pit of our apartment during that time period when neither of us would be there much anyway, Ben's best friend, Justin, offered for him to move in with him and his mom for a couple of months to allow us to get on our feet.

We made the decision on a Monday, packed for the next four days, got last minute PTO for that Saturday to move, and on Saturday we finished packing, rented a U-Haul and stuck almost everything in storage. All we took with us is some clothes, our computers and Ben took our bedroom TV with him. Our living room TV is over here, as well as the game consoles.

Since then, we've been able to get tires for the car, pay some bills, give Justin money for Ben's room, get our necessities and still have money left over next payday. It's nice not being entirely broke by the next paycheck. The saving money plan is working, it seems. While it's not as much as I would like, I figure once we get some bills paid off, we can worry about bills less and save more.

I figure I'm getting between $5k - $8k on my taxes, that will help tremendously.

Our goal in all of this is to be back together by March at the latest. We're going to get an apartment closer to work and Robbie's school to cut down on commute since the car is a gas guzzler. We're not going with all bills paid again. Hell. No. As long as water is included, all will be okay as long as the apartment is all electric, which I think is the case for most of the ones I've looked at around here. We'd like to stay around the $600 a month mark for rent. While we definitely want an upgrade from what we had before, we don't want to break the bank since we want to start saving up for a house. As in, buying a house.

While this all sounds like a really good plan and IS a really good plan, it's hard.

I miss Ben. Terribly.

Two weekends ago, depression and an episode of what can only be described as separation anxiety hit. I woke up with an anxiety attack while dreaming about puppies. Who in the hell wakes up to an anxiety attack after a dream about Golden Retriever and Husky puppies??? Me, apparently.

It's gotten better the last week, but now Ben is going through it. It's a little bit more with him though since he battles depression anyway. Thankfully, his insurance kicks in pretty soon and we can get him to a doctor. Most of it is from the untreated hypothyroidism he has. A lot of what he is going through are straight up symptoms of it. Depression, insomnia, weight problems, joint and muscle pain, etc.

My new insurance kicked in, which I am excited about. My old plan didn't meet the qualifications of the Affordable Care Act. While it's $20 a pay period higher, I'll be saving $15 a mo since it covers $100 of contraception and I won't have to pay for my birth control pills anymore. So, really, I'm only paying $25 a month more. And it covers everything. Acupuncture? Covered! Chiropractic care? Covered! Breastfeeding supplies? Covered! If I ever need to get additional speech therapy or occupational therapy for Robbie, they're covered, too. That is the big one for me since private insurance never used to cover those. If I needed to get additional help for Robbie outside of his special education classes at school, it would have all been out of pocket, or I would have had to get him on state assistance.

Now if only massage therapy was covered. But, according to the letter they sent with my insurance cards, it can get me discounts on massages. Probably not for the spa I prefer to go to. That's always how my luck runs. It's about $120 for the massage I got last time. 90 minute hot stone massage and Shirodara hot oil head massage. I've only had it once so far, but need to go again. Probably after I get my taxes.