The big take back in Random Thoughts

I just made that up, i am not sure what “the big take back” really is. I had this vague thought about an event here in Portland called the Slut Walk, basically a “transnational movement of protest marches calling for an end to rape culture. Specifically, participants protest against explaining or excusing rape by referring to any aspect of a woman’s appearance.” That was from Wikipedia.

I was kind of thinking of a take back of my sexuality. I’ve had a lot of transformation over the past year, coming into my own as a sexual being. Orgasm has always been very difficult, i pretty much gave up on someone else getting me there, it was more of a frustration than anything. That has changed for sure, and more changes are on the horizon. I don’t know if this is something that happens to women as they get closer to 40, or if it is individual.

I may have spoken about an event i attend every 2 months, its called Massage a Tois. We get in groups of three and massage one another. A lot more than that is involved. The event is Tantra. The goal is to be in the moment, take your time, exchange energy between giver and receiver. Each person gets 20 minutes to be on the table with two people’s hands (or other parts as negotiated). There are two rounds and a break between the two. On the break a gentleman about my age asked if he could tell me something weird (it wasn’t weird) and told me, “I like your look”

There i was, tousled hair, cat eye glasses, only panties and a thin man’s cardigan.

He then asked if he could continue to compliment me and whether he could be part of my second round. I acquiesced. S was amazing with his energy and touch. The idea is to move sensual and sexual energy without the goal of anything accomplished, such as penetration or orgasm. S was phenomenal with this. Our other partner was sweet, but no so good at being a giver (though very good at being a receiver).

S asked if he could continue with what we started. After the event we set up a massage table for just the two of us

My. Body. Reacted. Movements. Peaks. Valleys. Moaning. At a certain point i was giggling.

So sweet. So sexy. We’ve been texting since. Just writing about this makes me. Hungry.

I need to make up for all those years of no orgasm.

Last updated November 22, 2016