I need a Landrover and an assault rifle in Day to Day

  • Nov. 11, 2016, 2:11 a.m.
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  • Public

Well, it’s been a bad week for the world. Not only has Trump somehow managed to become the most powerful man in the world, we’re also facing a future where Toblerones have fewer triangles in each bar. This is it people. This is how civilisation starts to crumble. I need a Landrover and an assault rifle; I reckon the apocalypse is just round the next corner.

As a Brit, I always find US elections odd, but this one was positively insane. I never remember a race with so much bile and vitriol. I never remember an election with two such unpleasant candidates. It all makes me glad I didn’t have to make a decision. Don’t get me wrong, I would have voted for almost anyone to keep Trump out, but voting for Hilary would have left a very sour taste. She’s like Tony Blair in a dress. And lets not forget the Libertarian candidate, Gary Johnson, who astonishingly didn’t appear to know what was happening in Aleppo. I wouldn’t have wanted him to have the nuclear codes. Actually I don’t want Trump to have them either. I reckon we should just tell him it’s “1234”.

And Toblerone has reduced the number of triangles in each bar to “keep them affordable”. They were really sneaky though. They kept the bars the same length and just put bigger spaces between triangles. I say they were sneaky, did they really think anyone would fall for that? Anyway, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m too upset.

At the weekend I did exercise. That is significant for me. On Saturday evening I swam 12 lengths of the 33m pool. It was nudie night. On Sunday morning I got up and ran 1.5 miles with the boy. On Sunday afternoon I did a couple of hours digging on the allotment. For me, that is an active weekend. I wonder how many Calories digging burns.

Also this week I have installed a new tv set top box and internet router. Funny story, I called our tv service provider because our set top box was really old and didn’t do HD channels. It hasn’t mattered until now because we only had a crappy old tv with no HD, but it does matter now because we have a new tv. Anyway, they confirmed I should get HD channels but wanted to charge me £15 for a new box. I questioned why I need to pay for a box when they are already taking money for the service which I can’t use. So the girl agreed to waive the £15 if I committed to a 12 month contract. So I said I would, and she then knocked £7 a month off the bill and upgraded our internet to 100 MBits for free.With negotiating skills like that, I should be in on the UN security council or something.

Also at the weekend, the boy is now in year 6 at school and allowed to walk home by himself, so we got him a set of keys made in case he gets home before mummy. He will never be home more than a few minutes before his mum since she works at the same school and leaves at more or less the same time. But he wants to walk home with his friends and he was very happy to get keys. My little boy is getting all growed up. He’s going mountain climbing with his class next week in Wales.

I’m writing this on Friday at the office,. There appears to be some crisis occurring. I’m not involved but people are shouting into phones. There is some shocking language going on. I think I’m going to try and bail early. have a good weekend people.


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