Small Town, USA in Gratitude

So, I may repeat my gratitudes, but I’m too lazy to go back and see what I’ve done and what I haven’t.

Today I am grateful for this town that I live in. It is a small town in Eastern USA. And today I was walking down the sidewalk and just felt a wave of....gratitude. And a wave of Ok-ness. And a feeling of “This is where I belong”. And as I write this, I think I did write an entry about it already. Oh well. It’s worth noting twice, apparently, lol.

It is a quaint little place, where the population drops by half in the summer due to it being a college town. There are 4(at least) bars on main street, 2 tattoo parlors, 3 chinese restaurants…Everything a college town needs, I guess. The mall is…well, you can’t even call it a mall. It is a JCPenny’s and a K-Mart with a few random clothes stores in between. Not even a food court. Hell, not even a food kiosk. Oh, there is a movie theatre. Last time Little and I went, we were the only ones in the theatre, which isn’t an unusual occurrence.

There are christmas lights strung on the ornamental pear trees that line the main street of town. Those trees stink to high hell in the summer, at least to me, and the lights are there year round. Closer to Christmas time, they pipe Christmas Carols through the speakers that are also up and down main street. Quaint.

There are more Trump signs than you can shake a stick at. In part because it’s the land of the republicans, but also in part because Hillary signs are often stolen as soon as they’re put up.

But this town. This town. My friends are in this town. My life is in this town. I’ve had to really carefully consider, with the attempt at buying this house, whether or not I wanted to stay in this town. And why. I found that the answer is a resounding Yes, I do. Why? Because it is home. I am in the library again, and it just feels right. I’ve known the children’s librarian for years, and she’s one of the sweetest people I’ve met.

The baristas come and go, but if they’re there long enough, they learn my name and call me by it. And there are all the usual suspects there…Fancy Nancy, the 90 year old lady who wears more makeup than I’ve ever seen on one face, with her leggings and “drug rug” shirt (one of those heavy hemp-like shirts that you always see stoners wearing). And little Mary Lou, who is a little mentally impaired and just talks at everyone all of the time. She loves cats, and my shoes. She usually has a cat shirt on, or a cat pin, or a cat umbrella. And when you compliment her on it, she’ll meow loudly at you for several seconds. She used to hang out there by herself, but now she always has a worker with her. One time she didn’t show up at the cafe for a few days, and the cafe workers finally called her to make sure she was ok. That’s the kind of town I live in.

And JVM with his little “anti-business” establishment, where he pays more in rent (a substantial amt more) than he ever brings in from sales. But he has nothing better to do, so he sits in his shop all day and writes. On summer days you’ll find him sitting on the bench outside, with his feet propped up on the table just enjoying the sunshine.

Everybody knows everybody. Which you might think would be annoying and intrusive. But really it’s quite comforting, to me at least. I just can’t get over how at home I feel. And how much I missed that feeling of rootedness that I hadn’t had since I was in high school, before we sold the house that I grew up in. I longed for that life for so long…for a place to just call home. And I think part of why I’m doing so well mentally now, is because I’m aware of how much this place is my home. And how I don’t have to justify it to any one anymore. It is mine and I will stay until I decide to leave. There is such freedom in that.

KC and I walked to (hopefully) my new house yesterday and I realized I’ve basically lived in all four corners of what I consider to be “town”. (Because it is a small and rural place, the actual county lines are far away, but “Town” is considered main street and the few blocks surrounding it. And I’ve lived up by the cemetery, behind the courthouse, over on S. 7th, and now I’ll be on this new street (hopefully), which is the very farthest corner.

Here’s hoping!