New year... The "D" word. Tuesday, January 07, 2014 in 2014

New year... The "D" word. Tuesday, January 07, 2014 I'm in the middle of writing a 2013 breakdown point form type entry, which is why I haven't been writing. So I just put that on hold for the moment to get a quick entry out there!

Remember my last entry and how awesomely we were getting along? Well that ended. Long story short, we had a rough year. We decided to try extremely hard for a month or so. We are giving up things, not talking about the past, never bringing up things that have come and gone, and focusing on making it work right now. If at the end of the month we are happier people, we will do another month. If at the end of the month we aren't happy... well then I guess its time to move on.

I know this likely seems like a shock to most of you, but honestly, we haven't been getting along at all during 2013. And by going back and looking at my year, I realized that even more. We haven't been happy!! We had like a few happy days here and there but our fights aren't about small petty things that can be overlooked. They are about HUGE things, like personalities and morals and values. Those things that mean everything to us, are the exact opposite. You can't overlook that.

We were thinking of having more kids even... I do want more kids, but not now. Not the way hes been acting. Both of us need to check our anger. We get mad at the kids too easily. We get overwhelmed too easily. Everything in our lives needs to be worked on. I'm trying hard. Hopefully he is too.

I really want this to work and I really want to be married to him. I love him and I cannot imagine living a day without him by my side, but if we continue to bring out the worst in each other, and the kids see that, then whats the point. We actually came to that... there is no more just ignoring it. We want our kids to know what love is...

So bear with me during the next little while, I'm sure I will have lots to say. I'm looking for some new bookmarks in the meantime as well because everyone quit writing lol.

Kristen <3