withdrawl. Day 3. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

hi still here obvs. and thank god.

so Day 3 is almost over. I was actually feeling better today for the most part. no big naesau untill about 30 mins. ago. currently 10:50 p.m. The irritability is a lot less. i’ve had a couple headaches the dizziness is still there. i’m just I’m tired.and emotional. well in a different way than usual. and I just feel sick.well.i am sick. it’s not the alcohol that’s making me sick. [no cause i haven’t had any in 3 days]. no it’s the lack of that’s making me sick. godamn this is what it must be like to be dope sick. not that i’ve ever been although alcohol is a drug so.

seriously don’t drink. I know people will do what they want so. but withdrawl sucks. be careful.

yesterday was. well I um got sick in whole foods actually in the ladies’ room. i won’t detail. and i just felt lost i guess lost ya know? yeah I’m walking by the guys that sit on the benches affixed to the building an i’m thinking ‘if anyone has anything to offer a smile or hope or..........’ please. i need it. this was before i gave that lady napkins.

yeah yesterday morning was scary. I was too out of it/cold to call someone otherwise i would’ve. btw someone does know. Pat’s brother. we have a confidentiality agreement and he won’t tell anything i tell him. and i told something like if he does please don’t let it get back to me.

My withdrawl symptoms have been hitting me at different times than others’ and i feel a bit like I’m swimming. i do remember that feeling from the last time i went through this. been a long time. i’ve been well I’ve been beverage-ing. as i do when i coe back from the store. which i went to on wed. after my dental appt. I’ve been having chai. and i’ve been eating well more at my mom’s than at my house. today I had...........falafels w/ hummus. then later carrots, tomatos and pineapple courtesy of my mom. [who doesn’t know about this but just so people know what i’ve been eating]. um and another falafel and hummus and pita. and sourdough. and cheese. I’ve been being careful w eating cause sometimes it’s too much.

i didn’t notice temperature changes like bodily ones at my mom’s but i have at my house.

i just drank for me ‘too much’ [well more than i usually drink] in ‘a short period of time’.

so yeah that’s where i’m at.