oh wow.um. Day 1. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

  • Oct. 19, 2016, 8:48 p.m.
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well it’s almost been 24 hrs. since i last had a drink er a bit of one. currently 8:40. and i’m not great. according to what i’ve read online I’m right where I should be. and i’m supposed to feel this way but that’s not exactly a great comfort.

The smallest damn thing will set me off. so it would be better for me not to be around people. well it’s how i usually am but it’s magnified. yeah i had a um experience in the store earlier today....... which i mean that’s the good thing about night at my house er the house. is everyone’s gone to bed/sleep and then it’s just me. yeah on fb i sortof um ‘exploded’. not at anyone on there. it was about my store experience actually. and for the most part I’ve been doing really w/ not being like that on there. and i’m usually not but every so often every few wks. it comes. but that’s like my venting place. as is twitter.
um I tidied up my floor earlier.in my room. cause sitting around wasn’t helping wasn’t doing anything.
I’m either irritable or I want to cry or i feel like crap. actually crying’s healthy. no i recently read via twitter that it’s healthy and they listed 3 reasons. for me lately it’s ‘i swear if one more person irritates me.........’ and then i just have to leave. people don’t like people like that but i relate to them it’s real.

[and now it’s 8:50 if anyone’s interested].

uh yeah. this withdrawl/not withdrawl or w/e thing is incredibly difficult. i get why alcoholics keep drinking. i was one. that’s the reason however many yrs. ago i didn’t get that hungover.cause i’d start to sober up and then i’d drink.

beached whale.


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