Wednesday Morning part 2 in New Diary

Well I am back. I forgot to mention that I asked for a new worker . This one agency I have is from Moundsville. They have a lot of problems getting people to work for them in this area. But the girl I talked with told me they are having a training session. I might be getting a new worker in a few days. In the meantime she asked if the old worker could come until they have a replacement. I said yes.

I liked this worker. She was a good cook. She did her job. But the one thing she didn’t do was talk to me. She wouldn’t even sit by me while I ate breakfast. In between jobs she would watch tv. She always had to watch Dr. Phil on the Own Channel

I got to thinking about this. I didn’t like the fact that she watched tv on my time. If nothing else she could be talking to me and keeping me company. I put up with it because she did do good work and was good coo;k. I sat at my kitchen table and read while she watched tv. But the more I thought about it the more this kind of irked me. I came to the conclusion that she shouldn’t be watching tv on my time. If she had extra time the least she could do was do more cleaning.

There were times when she would come in and wouldn’t talk to me at all. I would always say Hi how you doing today. She would say fine thank you. That was the extent of our conversation . On some days we wouldn’t even say that much. On some days I got the impression she was really kind of hostile or resented me. I could not wait until she did her job and left.

I am wondering if she will come at all today. It is :9:25 and she is usually here today Not this day. In a way I hope she is not coming. I haven’t been feeling good the last couple of days and I just do not want her in. I am not in the mood to put up with shitty aptitudes.

Chocolatechip is going out again today. She has a mammogram at Weirton Medical Center. Said she had to stop at Krogers and the post office this morning. I hope things go well for her today.

Like I said I am doing a lot better today. nothing much has changed except my attitude. I was thinking about this a little bit ago and sometimes I think the right kind of attitude is everything. It can make a difference between having a good day and a lousy day. If you start off the day with a shitty attitude then you are going to be miserable and depressed. That is why I always end my entries with a list of good things going on in my life It helps me develop a better outlook towards things.

Also need to stop worrying I waste my life away worrying about shit I think this affects my attitude and I end up feeling shitty and miserable. I spend more time worrying about things than actually taking care of business. For example during inspection I spend more time worrying about failing inspection and getting evicted than I spend on actually cleaning my apartment. I spend more time worrying about what people think of me about people hating me and this has a very n negative effect on my overall mental health. Need to stop doing this

One of the things I worry a lot about is finances. I keep thinking I will not have enough food for the month or the bills wont get paid But I always get buy. Rent is always paid. Comcast is always paid. I always manage to have something to eat every day., But I still worry about finances. about not handling my check right about blowing my money on crap. I never do this. The bill always get paid always have money for meds and food. But I still worry ab out this

Worrying does not solve a problem Worrying only make a person sick I know I need to stop doing this I know it is counter productive. But it is easier said than done. How do you stop doin this. That is the question.