Final therapy session in Flaming June

I thanked her this morning. We finished 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Partly, we had said what needed to be said. I say ‘we’, actually she doesn’t say all that much. It’s usually me who does the talking. She listens and makes the occasional observation. Partly I finished early because I liked the idea that she could have a 15 minute break, a cup of tea. It must be hard work, listening to people like me, listening to our problems, our ‘struggles’.
And just what, exactly, have I got to be so unhappy about?
That’s the thing though, I’m not unhappy. The situation with my narcissist mother is difficult, no doubt there. But I’m not unhappy. Over the last 2 months or so, the counselling I’ve received, I’ve been able to see the past with more understanding, the present with more clarity and the future more positively.
It’s actually all OK.
I’d like to be able to forgive Gigi. I think I’ll get there. Let’s be clear, the forgiveness will be to my benefit, not hers. I don’t want to carry a big bag of bitterness and resentment around with me. That stuff weighs you down.
Forgiveness and understanding. Sympathy perhaps.
As much as I hate to sound like some new age vicar - that’s where I want to be. Forgiveness and understanding.
Heaven help me.