Monday Morning in New Diary

I watched part of the debate. I thought Clinton did a good job. I agree with her on most of what I heard. Thought Trump was being his usual asshole self. One thing that got me was he said to Clinton you should be in jail. Also the video tape was brought up. Clinton was saying that it showed the real Donald Trump. This was in combination with all the other things he said in the campaign. I thought she was spot on about him. Who actually won the debate is difficult for me to say. Trump was very aggressive throughout and made some points about the email scandal. From what I saw of it I would say Hilary won but I am a very partial judge

Think I only watched about 45 minutes of it. I was getting sleepy I turned it off and went to bed. Slept pretty good with no weird dreams to report. I was up at 5

I am a bit worried a bout my fiancé Chocolatechip. She was having a very bad day yesterday. State would no longer pay for one of her meds. They put her on the generic substitute. She said to me she hasn’t felt the same. Also experiencing pressure on her chest. It went away she said but it is a cause for concern. She said she was going to call Healthways today and ask to speak to her nurse. She is also going to call her primary physician I hope they put her back on the Abilify

She was doing good on that one med. She was on it for a long time. We were saying that when you are doing good they start screwing with your meds. They take you off of them. She was doing good on the meds and why they forced a change is beyond my understanding. I was kind of pissed at Healthways because I thought they were not helping her like they should

I was having a bad day myself. I was kind of paranoid. I was obsessing about one of my neighbors. We had a couple of run ins. I started thinking about that and I began to imagine all kinds of crazy stuff. I thought she was watching my apartment. I thought she would complain about med We could hear her bitching to somebody in her apartment. We couldn’t make out what she was saying but she was talking loudly and I automatically thought she was talking about me. Paranoid and anxiety were very bad yesterday.

We both worry a lot. II worry about getting in trouble with my neighbors or the housing authority. I worry a lot about finances. I worry about people in the building hating me and talking about me. I worry about my overall mental and physical health. After turning 65 I had this thought in my head about dying or ending up in an assistant living facility or nursing home Think I spend most of my time worrying over irrational fears and this is not good.

That is the major reason why I like to read so much. I get involved in good book and I am not thinking about that crap. I started reading a good book the other day The Radicalism of the American Revolution by Gordon S Wood. I did a lot of reading yesterday and I can actually remember some of what I read.

We both had a bad day yesterday. But today will be better. Whenever I am in a bad place I always count my blessings. This helps me remember that life is not so bad. Here are my daily blessings :

1 I have a roof over my head. 2 I have insurance that pays for most of the cost of my meads. 3 I have food to eat. 4 I have clothes to wear 5 I have a wonderful fiancé in Chocolatechip.6 I am in fairly good physical health. 7 I have a worker that comes in and cooks and cleans. 8 I am not addicted to alcohol or drugs. 9 I have an SSI and Social Security check 10 I am debt free. 11 I have phone, internet and cable tv. 12 I have plenty of books to read 13 I have a wonderful support system, in Healthways.

Life is pretty good

Life is good. Life is pretty damned good

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Last updated October 10, 2016