I get knocked down in My Unpredictable Life ...

I get knocked down But I get up again

Well, eventually anyway.

Gah! I'd give anything to wake up and it be Oct. 15, 2013 all over again.

October 15, 2013. That one last day all was well in the Life of Sassy. That one last day I had a BFF whom I loved dearly. That one last day I was happy with my job and loved it immensely. That one last day I was truly happy.

I'm guessing that I have a severe case of what is commonly known as "system overload".

Just so many emotional issues going on that I'm having a hard time recovering from. Add to it that I feel so alone, and well, I'm just not in a good place right now and I'm struggling to get back to some form of a normal state of mind.

Don't get me wrong, I love all of my friends. I am so thankful to be blessed with so many wonderful people whom I call "Friend". Each and every one of them holds a special place in my heart and I can't imagine life without any of them. Unfortunately, there was only that one "special one" that just made life bearable for me, and she is no longer a part of my life. I'm too scared to get closer to the other's in my life. Besides, they all have their own lives, and they don't need my whining, sniveling drama bringing them down.

Hubby is trying. But he is a man and well, he is Hubby. He's an ass. He thinks cracking a joke will make it all better. It doesn't.

There is one other person that I have been able to open up to in the past. Unfortunately, they exist only in my head. So even if I could open up to them, well, it just wouldn't be the same. Sometimes a fictitious character just isn't enough. I know you are reading. I will reply to your message ... eventually.

I got a nice little "slap in the face" by work the other day. Remember me writing about they wanted me to come in and work for 3 hours? I'd assumed it was because they had a lawyer meeting or something since it was for so few hours. Nope.

I had to come in to relieve Jimena. They had asked Jimena to cover the day shift because Tami (the manager) needed the day off and Joleen doesn't like/want to work the whole 8 hours by herself - which honestly, she isn't capable of doing anyway.

So instead of asking me to work the 8 hour shift (A) knowing I was available for the whole shift (B) knowing I am desperate for more than 24 hours a week (C) it would have caused less hassle and confusion to have me work, what do they do? They ask Jimena and when she says she can only work till 12, they ask me to come in a finish the rest of her shift.

Had I known that was what I was doing, I would have told Tami to fuck off instead of agreeing to do it.

So this past week Jimena clocked 37 hours, Ruth and Shelia both got 32 hours and I got 27 hours. Fuck you people.

The Child survived her dental appointment the other day. No sniffle, no fever, no nothing. I can breathe easy again on that front.

Once I get that bill paid off I can concentrate on eye appointments. It's been over 2 years since our last ones. Even though I have no concerns for her eye health, I know that appointment will bring me to my knees financially since The Powers That Be love to play with me. We have no eye care health insurance so yeah, this will be fun. I won't even worry about my exam until I win the Mega lottery.

Had life's twists and turns taken me down a different path, I would have a child turning 20 next month.

Till next time ....