ThursdayMorning in New Diary

I didn’t sleep too good last night. I was up and down a lot. I was supposed to go to the court house today to get my address changed so I can vote. I think I am going to cancel. I just can’t get moving today for some reason. I feel a bit down today and don’t want to leave my apartment.

I hate leaving my apartment a lot of times. I do not know why. Well I thin I do. I do not like being around people. . Then I have it in my head that everyone hates me I sense and feel hostility from a lot of people. A lot of times I just cannot bare to endure that shit. This is in my head for the most part. But in many instances I do not think I am too far off the mark.

In either case I am having a very bad morning. I do not think I am depressed The thought of leaving my apartment today is causing a lot of anxiety I just do not want to go out. I’m just not up to riding up to New Cumberland today. I am hoping I can do it some other time when I am feeling better. Have until October 14 to change my voting card. I am just not up to it today.

I feel very bad today. Thinking all kinds of crazy irrational thoughts. I know they are irrational especially the ones about people hating me. This is in my head for the most part. It is not other people that have the problem. I have issues. No matter what I do I cannot control how other people think or feel. I cannot control behavior of others. I can only control my own behavior

I cannot let other people weather it is perceived or real control my actions. I need to take care of business. Need to get up to the courtfhouse change my address on my voting card so I can vote This is the goal for today. Hell wiith them I am going out.