so apparently. there's something abnormal about being independent. and liability. and bus people thing. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

so on Thurs. I went to my appt. it was hard. ok so the bus driver. When we got there he asks me again if i need/want help w/ my bags and says I have a lot of bags. yeah i know but I got them on the bus by myself so.........no it’s more that most people helping me w/ my bags makes me nervous so.

ok so. He stands in front of the bus door and holds his hands out. ok well if i’m going to fall I usually don’t do it when there are people around. also again. if someone’s in the way of the damn door I can’t get off the bus. if they stand to the side that’s ok.it’s like people don’t understand how things work.

ok so then.When we’re walking up to the building he holds out his hands as if to lead me by the elbow. I don’t like being touched to begin w/ and esp. not in that way. like i’m not some 80 yr. old woman. [nothing against them i’m just not one]. and i’m also not that drunk. [or well i wasn’t drunk at all actually]. in the words of mc hammer can’t touch this. yeah so what ends up happening is I go faster than usual to get away from the bus people when they do stuff like that. increasing my risk of falling. [not that i ever have but i’m jus sayin]. which should in fact tell them something. go the fuk away. as they say um communication isn’t always verbal. [and i have really high standards for people. which really is on me not them]. And not every bus driver does this. i mean some of them are cool. that megan or molly or elizabeth is cool. the driver i’m comfortable around. i haven’t seen her in a couple wks. really it is fukin daytime. I’m going inside. if something were to happen I’d call a friend of mine. I’ve done this a dozen times or more.

ok so then we get to the building. and he proceeds to open the door for me. I don’t like it when people do that mainly cause i’ll have to interact w/ them and i.don’t do that. my god leave me alone.

ya know.it just recently occured to me that they don’t want to be held liable if anything were to happen to me.like if i fell or something. ok again I don’t usually fall when there are people around. and i don’t think they want to go to court. [yeah and i don’t want to either]. ok but here’s the thing. if I did happen to fall like while getting off the bus............i wouldn’t tell anyone about it. so it’s a nonissue. I wouldn’t say anything about it. which means.that they wouldn’t be sued. so i mean.worrying about it really won’t do anything. just as i won’t. [i don’t really care whether or not they know this so].

but evidently. There’s something abnorml about being as independent as i am and me carrying my own bags. I know i’m a slight lady but please don’t treat me like i am. treat me like everyone else. well great now i’m weird bc i’m independent. that’s..........that’s awesome. Believe it or not i’m stronger than i look. I can carry 20 lbs. ok for me that’s a lot. I can move a 20 - 50 lb. piece of furniture. and i know this cause i have. i mean it’s heavy but i’ll do it. [also setting my bags down on a table or something or in a cart like when i’m outside the store waiting only to pick them back up again seems like a damn inconvenience]. I’m used to carrying my own bags. really it’s ok. i don’t have much of a problem w/ it.

so then. last night this bus driver George well it’s er it goes well.untill we get to the school. he sees a white car and he asks if ‘is it the white car?’ and i say ‘no i have to call them’ or something and he’s like ‘you should call now. actually i should’ve told you we were approaching the school’. well I knew when we were approaching the school. yeah but here’s the thing. I don’t call the lady untill the bus has stopped moving. and i knew why but i hadn’t experienced it untill last night. w/ everyone but evan.i’ve always called them when we’re at the school and the bus has stopped moving. bc apparently when the bus is moving and I’m on the phone it’s unsettling. like i mean physically unsettling. now i complied bc i’m afraid of confrontation. i’m afraid to be like ‘no not gonna do it yet. i’ll do it but i’ll do it later’. w/ people i don’t know i’m not comfortable enough to be like that.

so yeah. bus people thing. again.