Thursday Morning in New Diary

I haven’t had much to write about the last couple of days. My mood has been relatively stable. I have not been depressed. Still feel very tired but that is par for the course Life has been good except for one little problem.

I have been trying to read this one book Creation of the American Republic 1776-1787 by Gordon S Wood. It is not going very well. I am having trouble concentrating on it. I can’t remember what I read and go over the same material several times only to forget all about it. I have been on this book for almost a month now and am about halfway through i. Feel very discouraged about finishing it.

Feel very down today. I had a bad night last night. I was up and down a lot. I was up for good at 4 I wasted time by playing computer games then fixed myself a cup 9of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.,

I get my SSI check of $94 tomorrow., Courtesy of the van driver we are going to the bank and Wal Mart I already have this money spent. Reload fee for my Wal Mart debit card is $3.18 I plan on putting $23 on my card. I plan on spending at least $30 at Wal Mart. Going to buy a case of pop, coffee pancake mix and butter. I plan on buying two subs from Fox Pizza which will come to $22. I will set aside $10 for laundry. I should have $5.82 left So much for the SSI check.

I had recertification Tuesday. it went well. Since my income did not go up my rent will stay the same $216 per month. I can’t complain about the rent. I think I have a good deal at Overbrook Towers. I have a nice efficiency apartment with water and utilities included. The only thing I have to pay for is air conditioning during the summer months. Rent here is high and I probably could not find a cheaper place I’m very lucky to be living in OT

I have it pretty good. I do not understand why I get depressed. I’m on two different meds for depression. I have everything I need. but I worry all the time. Depression gets so bad I can hardly do anything just lay on my couch and hug my pillow. Also get so frigging tired al lthe time. This is what Feel sluggish and sleepy mot of the day. Don’t understand why

I am ok I do not plan on doing anything stupid I[‘ll probably be flying high tomorrow w drinking pop and eating subs. Think I got a bad case of the end of the month blues today.

Always remember life is pretty good. 1 I have a roof over my head 2 I have insurance that pays for most of the cost of my meds. 3 I have food to eat. 4 I have clothes to wear 5 I have a wonderful fiancé in Chocolatechip 6 I am not hooked on alcohol or drugs. 7 I am in relatively good physical health. 8 I have phone, internet and cable tv.. 9 I have plenty of books to read 10 I have a worker that comes in fixes breakfast and cleans 11 I am debt free 12 I have an SSI and Social Security check. 13 I have a wonderful support system in Healthways

I have it pretty good just wish AI didn’t have this mental illness to deal with