Say It Isn't So in Everyday Ramblings
- Jan. 11, 2014, 2:03 p.m.
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- Public
Unlike the rest of the Northern Hemisphere we are actually getting our first sustained winter storm coming in just about now. There was an inch and a half of water on the big street near me on Wednesday evening so clearly we are due to replenish our snow pack (much needed) in big weather events as climate change unfolds.
So after a carefully worded nudge to Mr. Fine China midweek, we started making plans for getting together this weekend and going for another birdy walk but this time up near where he lives in Washington. The weather is not cooperating with our original plans so I unexpectedly have the better part of today free.
I am glad to share a small portion of it with you all.
Although clearly my oldest sister was pleased to see me during her Christmas week visit to Kes and Most Honorable (and she loved my gift, a wonderful warm washable Martha Stewart throw that I got at a ridiculous discount a few days before Christmas at Macy’s) she seemed distant and sort of out of it.
Her eyes have been swelling and her Macular Degeneration galloping forward and I just assumed she was grappling with the incredible sadness and difficulty of knowing she is losing her sight.
Thursday evening as I was getting ready to draw my yoga class for the next day I checked my email and was shocked to see an email from her to both Kes and me saying that her colonoscopy had gone well but that they have found a large mass in a place you don’t want to have any sort of mass for any period of time.
I didn’t know she was having the test and I didn’t know she had been having problems, and discomfort, apparently things were not working as they are meant to for months and months. She knew something was wrong…
The biopsy results will be in early next week but she is already scheduled for an appointment with both an oncologist and a surgeon next week as well.
Eeek!
She is just three weeks from her 70th birthday and only ten years older than me.
She is actually relieved to know. Now there is a plan and there will be steps to address this issue one after another. Her doctors and hospital are ridiculously close, just a few blocks away and she lives with her daughter (who will need to start being home more often).
I am so glad in retrospect (and a little jealous) that she was able to retire from work early. She’s had a good run of it the last 10 years and has been able to be a critical and hugely influential part of Miss E.’s life, which is what she has wanted. She researched and published many fascinating articles on the history of Seattle, particularly its architectural history. She has supported all sorts of arts and been engaged and quite active in the urban community garden movement.
But now that is all changing.
My sister is an extraordinary person. I admire her so much. And she drives me completely insane in a way that was a precursor to my relationship with Mr. Finch. Without learning how to interact with her I never would have had a chance with him. (They liked each other too, which makes me laugh.)
She makes no attempt whatsoever to be “normal”. She will face this all straight on practically and with a brutal honesty that is already a bit bracing. (This is a trait she shared with Mr. Finch.) Her son lives near by as well and can help out.
As a family we are all trying to absorb the news. My siblings and I are unusually close for grown ups and I am so grateful for that because we all enrich each other’s lives with current communication and that irreplaceable shared past.
Mr. Fine China is coming down to get me in the morning tomorrow. We’ll spend the day together. He is very excited to show me his beloved house that he bought after the most recent divorce. He lights up when he talks about it.
We are so different! I don’t know if we will be able to find a way to be together. All the challenges from before are in play (except now I am not consulting for him) but we are both more mature and worn out so maybe we can make this work.
In the meantime he makes me laugh and enjoys my company so I am not going to pass up this opportunity for hands on human interaction and distraction. No way.
Deleted user ⋅ January 11, 2014
Firstly, let me express the wish that the end result for your sister is much better than the sorts of thigns we both know could happen. I hope she is able to get through this with her strength intact. And this is hard for you, too, I'm sure - she has always been there in your life.
This made me laugh " we are both more mature and worn out so maybe we can make this work." That is sometimes how I feel about Husband and me, in our re-united relationship. There is definitely an advantage to have loved and lost and loved and stufed up and loved and had them die on you - your priorities shift. I don't say I am perfect, not even close to 5% perfect, but I really think I am somewhat improved by the years and what they have taught me. Best wishes with it. I always admire your courage.
edna million ⋅ January 12, 2014
I am SO sorry about your sister--- and send endless good thoughts and hopes that she'll be completely fine. My dad had a bout with colon cancer five or so years ago, and although he had to have a not-much-fun operation to remove the cancer, it had not spread and they were able to just sew him back up and let him keep going. He did take chemo in pill form afterwards, but it was mild and didn't give him any serious problems. I am hoping VERY much that your sister will make a full recovery as well. The in-between will be trying, I'm sure, but she sounds like a remarkable person who can handle it. It does just suck that we end up having to handle these things, though.
I also laughed at your line about you and Mr. Fine China being more mature and worn out. That really DOES help. When Baker B and I were young and hadn't been together very long we would have massive horrible awful fights that would last DAYS and DAYS and I really wonder how we survived that. Now we're all mature and it's amazing how things that were OMG LIFE OR DEATH!!! 25 years ago are just not worth all that energy now. Being worn out does kind of make things easier!
edna million ⋅ January 12, 2014
I am embarrassed to admit that I don't remember if we've discussed this, and I'm way too lazy to go pouring back through my notes... but have you watched Sherlock? If not, I TOTALLY recommend it. I watched both seasons twice a few months ago, and finally got Baker B to watch it by agreeing that he doesn't have to watch the current Downton Abbey if he'll watch Sherlock (he liked Downton but the third season was such a downer that he's ready to give up on it). We started Sherlock last night and of course he's completely hooked.
It sounds quite blasphemous, but... I realize tonight that I think I may actually love Sherlock even more than Doctor Who. Just a bit. Maybe.
noko edna million ⋅ January 12, 2014
Sherlock! Of course. I even bought the complete stories for my Kindle so I could read the them again and see what the creators have done in the update. Looking forward to the next installment. I miss Torchwood. The other day I was thinking about how they hold their flashlights and guns... I stuck in the first part of Season Five on Dr. Who. Sherlock is so rich in detail. I totally get watching it over and over. I did watch the first episode of this season Downton but it took me 3 days. Still love the clothes and Edith is getting interesting.
edna million ⋅ January 12, 2014
I bought the complete stories too!! Bizarrely, I had managed to get this far in life without ever reading any Sherlock Holmes, and I have no idea how that happened. Now I can't put it down. I miss Torchwood too. I keep hoping it will come back. You never can tell, with these wacky British shows. Red Dwarf was gone for something like ten years before suddenly reappearing.
We have kept up with Doctor Who as much as possible, but it's very frustrating. We're still stuck waiting on the second half of the most recent series, the 7th. Netflix doesn't even have it available to save yet. We could stream it on Amazon Prime but would have to pay - $2 an episode, but Baker B is chintzy and wants to wait for the DVD. I'm feeling very out of the loop now, and not so ready for a new doctor.
That's actually one of the benefits of Sherlock. He doesn't suddenly change into someone else, and he doesn't switch companions.