Monday Morning in New Diary

Well it Is Monday morning. I am up. Feel kind of tired and sluggish. I had two cups of coffee this morning and that didn’t even phase me. For some reason reason I don’t want to get going today. Being tired an sluggish has been an on going problem. I feel this way most of the day. I think it is the meds I’m on. Both meds make me sleepy.

Then depression itself is very draining. When I’m in a depressed state I don’t feel like doing anything. I feel incapable of doing anything. When I am depressed I feel beyond tired. I am exhausted. I let myself go and don’t take care of my apartment When I get like this it lingers and lingers sometime lasting for days at a time. It seems the harder I try to snap out of this the stronger these feelings get. This only makes me more frustrated. because I can’t seem to help myself

But I am not helpless. There are things I can do that can alter my mood. I learned through therapy how thinking controls our feelings and feelings determine actions. I learned it is not an outside event that causes an emotional reaction. It is what we think about the outside event that causes our feelings. Thoughts can be positive, negative or neutral If I am having a strong negative reaction about an outside event then chances are pretty likely that I might be having an irrational thought about the event.

In therapy I learned that thoughts can be rational or irrational. Irrational thoughts can have a negative effect on how we feel about any given situation. The key is understanding what thoughts are rational and those irrational. There are five rational rules or questions that help one determine if they are thinking rationally or irrationally.

These rules are 1 Rational thinking is based on fact. 2 Rational thinking helps you protect yourself from harm. 3 Rational thinking helps you achieve long and short term goals 4 Rational thinking helps you prevent unwanted conflict with others. 5 Rational thinking best helps you feel the way you want without alcohol or drugs.

If a thought goes against these rules or questions then it is best to replace the irrational thought with a rational thought. This will help you change your thinking which will alter your mood.

I am always mindful of what I am thinking at any given time. I try to focus on the positive. This is why I always end my entries with gratitdes or affirmations They remind me that life is not that bad. My life is pretty good and there is no reason to get depressed. But I do get depressed I have been dealing with depression all my life.

I feel pretty good this morning with no negative thoughts. Still I feel tired and sluggish. Can’t seem to get going I am not depressed just feel tired and a bit listless. I tried to read but couldn’t get into my book this morning.

Remember life is good 1 I have a roof over my head. 2 I have food to eat 3 I have insurance that covers most of the cost for my meds. 4 I have clothes to wear 5 I have a wonderful fiancé in Chocolatechip. 6 I am in relatively good physical health 7 I have an SSI and Social Security check. 8 I have a worker that comes in fixes breakfast and cleans.9 I have phone, internet cable tv 10 I have plenty of books to read 11 I am debt free everything I have is bought and paid for 12 I have a wonderful support system with Healthways

Life is good Life is very good

Last updated September 19, 2016