Optimistic in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

"I remember You upon my bed — and meditate on You in the night watches." — Psalm 63:6

Rough at times today, living in a hefty bubble of loneliness but I know progress when I feel it.

Went out briefly and got to know a neighbor a bit. Now have an open invitation to come for coffee, crochet or just visit. I have intention of a visit, knowing me it could be another year before I actually do so. I'm slow to make those kind of moves.

Bible reading coming along, will finish Exodus tonight. Have a better understanding of the types of sacrifices now. I am enjoying gaining the understanding, but especially reading God's story to me as He desires to be known. I'm paying attention and find getting away from a legalistic learning structure, for the time, is making my learning come along well. I have plenty of formal classes to keep the structure going and am enjoying reading the Bible as a book.

Medications.are.finally beginning to work, three days in a row I can say I've felt progressively better and more stable. Thank you, Jesus. It has been a LONG, painful road this time around. I still feel like death in the morning, it doesn't appear the last change has helped reduced the mind exploding headaches I wake with, additionally something (?) has me uber exhausted. Yesterday I woke at 1 pm which is about my normal time. I had to go back to bed, couldn't get awake, see straight, function, walk right, etc. Thought I'd sleep maybe two hours, it was 5:45 when I woke again, still not right and quite disoriented. Keep riding this out, 17 before next doctor appointment.

Ten days off sugar again, that can only be good in every way. I'm not missing it. Have completely committed to living my diet with no less than 50% of my caloric intake in fat. Been doing fairly well meeting my goal having eaten (as of tonight) four days in a row. Getting the food groups in, eating like a caveman. Don't feel starved, not having cravings and not binging on any particular food.

Made the requisite phone calls to the power company to get reimbursement for the food I lost during the power outage over the Christmas holiday. Don't know how much money I'll actually get, any is better than none. Received a form letter from the state, I had unclaimed money sitting in the treasury. Two claims actually. One I've been aware of for 25 years and never did anything about. They accepted my application but I have to prove who I am due to my name changing. It seems even though the government tracks a person by their Social Security Number that isn't good enough to prove who you are when it comes to getting money from their tight fists. So, I need to track down paperwork to prove I actually changed my name back and forth, get it notarized and send in more forms. Apparently the other claim will be processed without any hassles because it is in the name I currently, legally use. Funny thing is I have nearly no idea who owes me that money or how much it is. I have one guess and it would be odd (but very lucrative) if I'm correct as it is an issue out of Florida. It will be a surprise and I do like surprises, provided they are of a good nature. Talked with the insurance agent regarding the pipes being frozen and have that resolved in full.

I dreamed last night of a bird... a beautiful bird

but the bird was sick -

then I saw that it was placed into running water and it was fearful and thrashed in panic

for it thought it was going to drown

but I didn't worry for the bird, and I didn't try to rescue it from the water,

because I knew God was not trying to drown the bird,

but was instead washing it cleansing it

getting off it the old grime

deep into it's feathers, away with crud from the past

it had to be rigorously washed because it had collected and encrusted there for too many years

so I watched for a long time as this bird struggled against it's bath

then finally it began to calm down

it started feeling the crud leaving it

it could move it's wings around again, now that the feathers were clean

joy filled the bird's heart and she leapt with excitement

and found she had leapt right up out of the water and onto a perch!

overjoyed with this great feeling she sang

and sang more beautifully then all the other birds combined