A Quick Talk With C in Out in the Open

Well, C and I finally talked a little about C's son. I totally chickened out about talking about C and my past, but I did talk about his son and my thoughts of moving to Kzoo. I told him my concerns and he basically told me he didn't really see them as sacrifices. He explained that he doesn't mind being alone and such.

We had to stop talking though since we ran out of time. We had to go pick up Lily. I wish I could have spoke more to him. I wish I could have opened up more but I am too scared. I am such a wuss. What is wrong with me? I have all these feelings burning inside me and I when I finally get the chance to talk I can't even look at him.

I have agreed to meet his son and have Lily meet him. That won't be so bad, I am sure.

Other than that he still wants to change her last name. He's agreed to hyphenate it. But I still don't want to do that. I feel like he's trying to over take her or something. It's ridiculous. I know. But, I can't help letting go of my little girl. I feel like she was mine first since he didn't want her... Ugh.

I am trying to meet him half way. I really am. But I just moved home and I want to stay here. I missed it so much. I need my home town. I've been away too long.

Her