9/7 in 2016

currently i’m sitting in the back of my cognitive neuroscience class, writing this entry instead of taking notes about the cerebral cortex. this semester is extra difficult for me. i’ve skipped 5 classes in the past week which sounds sooo awful but i’m not TOO behind on homework. i’ve received pretty good grades on all my homework so far, too. it’s just so hard to concentrate when i graduate in less than 4 months.

it’s also hard to attend classes when my boyfriend (and my best friend, bailey) live 2 hours away from where i attend school. let’s just say i’ve already spent a lot of gas driving there in the past couple of weeks. moving him in was hard. of course i cried when i left and he surprised me by crying too. and don’t get me wrong…long distance is hard. but it’s not as hard as i anticipated. at least…not right now it’s not. we are both putting in effort and even though i get irrationally upset at times, we are almost doing better now than we were before he moved. it’s really strange.

there’s been one thing that’s been on the back of my mind for…well, WEEKS and that’s sex. i’m not particularly interested into rushing into anything that he’s not ready for, but we aren’t making any kind of progress at all. at this moment in time i just feel lucky if he kisses me. i got upset about it one night and he told me he wasn’t a very affectionate person. well that’s fine, but most working relationships have a sexual aspect to them and i don’t expect ours to be any different. yesterday marked our 5 month anniversary.

soooo i typed out this huge long thing about it on my phone but have yet to send it to him. should i talk about in person with him? i can barely talk about it without crying and i don’t want him to feel super awkward, because i know i will.

advice without judgment would be greatly appreciated. i feel like my life is a mess right now.