Perfect Man in meh...

So, I wrote that I went to my dad’s this weekend. My sister (the one my daughter was living with) was there.

Okay.

I think she was trying to figure out if I was a lesbian or something.

See, from the outside looking in, I guess some folks would think that. Every time I do a significant hang I’m with maybe one other friend and it’s a woman. I’m not seeing anyone but always with friends. Meh, mere stereotypes and fuck her. When I told her my friend was coming to pick us up she said, your girlfriend, or your GIRLFRIEND girlfriend. I was like bitch, you wish. and even if I was, Mind your business.

At any rate, I’d been thinking for weeks now about my perfect man. My perfect man will be imperfect, but he will love me to no end. He doesn’t have to be eye candy, but I would like to not wince every time I look at him. I would like him to have ‘hood tendencies (meaning from the same background so when I talk about things from my youth he may be able to relate or at least know what I’m talking about) but has come far enough to be able to move between his new life and old world without being a snob. I would like for us to have our individual likes and dislikes but enough commonality so that if I break out dancing in the middle of the room he can join in and crack up laughing. It would be nice if we have similar taste in music or can hip me to new stuff. We can go to live events, get dressed up every now and again and act like we are balling. LOL I also wouldn’t mind if we decided to stay in and like marathon watch tv and binge watch shows in the same clothes we went to sleep in all damn day and only leave the house to get booze and pizza or Chinese. Someone I can send dirty text messages too and talk shit to the point he gets a stiffy at work because I ain’t right. Meet me at home for lunch and bang it out and go back to work like nothing happened and send dirty messages about that. ‘Cause I’m nasty. lol Someone that can cook. Someone where we can go about our own lives be with our own friends and while we are with them think, “I’d rather be at home cuddling with my boo…” Love & learn my quirks just like I’ll learn and love his. Someone where we don’t have to always talk and when we do it’s usually a joke being cracked or have heart to hearts. We can even argue a little bit so we can make up fiercely.

This could have been me and Him, but he was a man whore so no.

I know this person is out there and I know Him is not the only person like this for me. Maybe I ought to scale back what I would like because I’m getting older. I’ve wanted this person for a long time and now my body won’t be able to comply with how young my heart still feels.

I hope it’s not too late.
I’m kind of lonely.
And I’m tired of hanging with girls.

I need to feel comfortable in someone’s arms and just sleep there.

Okay. I’m done.

Kindest regards,
Sister