A Very Timmy™ Survey. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Kind of agree with a friend who noted that the surveys circulating around are from very early in the internet. So, like two years ago. To that end, I decided to make my own for absolutely no reason. As such, it’ll be at least 10% NSFW.

View discretion is advised.

Star Trek or Star Wars. Pick one, even if you like (or hate) both.
Trekkie. I’m a walking Memory Alpha.

Prequel, Original, or Sequel “Trilogy”.
Unpopular opinion: prequel trilogy. Oh, they reach a level of Batman and Robin bad in terms of screenwriting and cinematography. But which is going to entertain me more? I’m sorry, but my first impression of Star Wars was falling asleep while watching A New Hope.

TOS, TAS, TNG, DS9, VOY, ENT, or AOS. Or acknowledge you had to look these up.
I typically waver somewhere between TNG and DS9. TNG is more well-known, but DS9 got very close to full serialized television in its later seasons. VOY has its own charm, but in a so-bad-its-good way. You either think Threshold is among the worst Trek episodes ever, or among the very best in Trek silliness.
.#rememberthelizardbabies

What’s the longest cock you’ve ever handled?
At least seven inches. Naturally I didn’t grab a tape measure, and it’s generally impolite to ask.

When’s the last time you ate a taco?
…Holy shit, I’m writing this survey, and I actually have to think about this. I had a burrito last week. But an actual hard shell taco? I’d hazard a guess of fours months ago. I HAVE BROUGHT SHAME TO MYSELF AND MY BROOD.

Last time you texted someone a nude.
Yesterday morning. I’m a slut like that. A CONSENSUAL SLUT.

Last time you received a nudie text
Also yesterday. A “hey, look at this thick cock I might get to fuck” still counts, ha ha.

What can your taste buds handle: mild, hot, or “you call this hot, c’mon”
I’m half-Indian, so I’d be a disgrace if I couldn’t handle heat. I still prefer flavor over raw heat, but I know too many White People who can’t handle any heat at all. I laugh at them as I drink hot sauce.

How are your pubes doing?
Very nice, thank you for asking. Oh, you mean style. Somewhat trimmed triangle and shaved balls. Gotta stay cool in the summer.

What do you like on your pizza?
Pepperoni and extra cheese. Mmmm, cheese. Also okay with any meat products. Because I love meat in my mouth.

How many gigs of RAM do you have?
16 gigs of RAM and I defrag my hard drives for thrills. Man, that joke would work so much better if I had 100 gigs of ram.

What do you drive? Transmission? ‘08 Honda Fit, stick shift fuck the automatic.

Regardless of brand loyalty, which (gaming) console do you seem to use the most?
I feel like I’m betraying my Nintendo heritage by acknowledging I use my PS3 the most, by far. Hey, I can stream netflix in HD to my TV; I sometimes remember I can use my PS3 to actually play games.

How many times do you poop a day and when?
Typically twice in the morning. The first one is most of it, then a little bit later, the rest is evacuated. If I’m cranking my fiber, I’ll have a bonus third poop somewhere in late afternoon. BONUS POOP.

Typically, how often do you masturbate a week?
Not as young as I used to be, so between wild swings upwards and downwards in frequency, I’d hazard a guess of around 2-3 times a week.

Chest, butt, or your preferred genitals?
Boobies are wonderful, but if you’ve seen my tumblr, you would know I LIKE BUTTS. Decided to have the lewd “genital” option in case anyone wants to be all I LOVE PUSSY/COCK. Hey, I don’t judge, genitals are pretty cool.

Cost aside, optimal room temperature setting.
If possible, I like 68F in the summer, and 66F or lower in the winter.

How many tattoos do you have?
Two. Starfleet delta along my lower tummy, right where it is on Kirk’s green tunic. And a little red heart on my right buttcheek. Love both of them.

Do you have pads/’pons clearly visible in your bathroom?
I’m a dude-type dude who doesn’t have a uterus, and I have a boxes of pads and tampons on an open shelf behind the toilet. I have yet to visit a Lady-type friend’s bathroom where said products were on full display. Hey, I’ve had Ladyfriends, and it’s not like cotton expires, why throw them out?

Social media site that is your biggest timesink.
I can easily spend over an hour trying to “catch up” on tumblr.

Pets.
Two cats. They’ve either forgotten they’re sisters, or they act like normal bickering sisters.

Isn’t cheese awesome?
Oh man, I love cheese. I don’t think I could date a girl who didn’t like cheese. All the best foods have cheese on them, or could be made better with the addition of cheese.

Yeah, that’s all I got. Some surveys go on too long. Whatever, you try making this stuff up on the spot.