Pressure in Adventures of New baby and family

I can’t do.....I don’t want to go to the GI doctor. I was scoped almost 10 yrs ago and it felt like a colossal waste of time. I think she pretty much as said that in so many words. I felt awful. I had to coordinate my child to be watched and someone to pick me up and for what. Dyspepsia. Gastritis. an inflamed stomach. Mind you I was on zantac AND Nexium at the time and that was it. She didn’t see me after. It wasn’t an ulcer so fuck me. Why go back??? Its not an ulcer. You have dyspepsia, no ulcer, you okay. She didn’t see me after that. I felt horrible. Like I wasted everybody’s time. Dyspepsia....all I could think was indigestion, bloating . I felt like shit. Never a follow up. Why did I bother having it done??? Why?? 3 months prior I was having bad stomach pains and ended up on an antibiotic for sinuses. I knew I wouldn’t have a ulcer then but though maybe they could do something about my stomach meds.I ended up going into the office to take care of the bill a few weeks later and the front desk told me it was gastritis. That made me feel a little better but still nothing from her. Since then I have been managing my stomach issues myself. There’s been a few flare ups along the way, a gall bladder that ended up coming out and some other minor ones that I have worked my magic on. Now....I can’t. Its probably been bothering me a long time. that this sphincter muscle hasn’t worked and that is why I end up with bronchitis and sinus infections . This is going into the 3rd since the end of June and after the restaurant crap I can feel it rise in my throat. Those guys burned the hell out of my throat. Them and their spicy crap.

I’ve cried on and off about even going to the GI doctor I know I wanted to go and have a name now. BUT........I really don’t want an endoscopy done. WHY??? what good will it do. Will it tell me I have gastritis again and to go fuck myself. I know its not an ulcer, its not cancer I’m not coughing up blood etc… I know what it is and there’s not alot they can do but possible surgery to correct it. Sure would be nice to stop coughing.

SO I saw my doctor. I with call him Dr House as that’s who he reminded me of. As I figured he was getting the down low on my life and the questions..........So I see you had a baby. was surprised going through your records hospital discharge so I looked at it and it was for delivery. Me: Yep.
Was it planned? Me: Nope Him still looking at me. Do you think I would purposely plan to have a child at age 41 after 7 yrs?
Him: Didn’t think so but you never know.
You had a cytoscopy too. Me: The c-section was hell they thought I had placenta accreta. They stuck catheters in there, as I shook my head.

Him:We can get you on better stomach meds. Like what? I asked. Omeprazole. ME:Taking that one at prescription strength. OTC. plus the zantac.
Oh, I guess you are at the maximum dosage. You do need to see a specialist. I’ve been doing this for 20 yrs. I know my meds.
You were last scoped in 2007 and you didn’t go back why? Sigh....
Because I hated the dr I went to and after felt like I wasted my time and hers.
Him: You didn’t follow up?
NO.... Why? Me fighting the tears. Why bother. It wasn’t good. He pushed more as to why if I didn’t like her then why not go to somebody else. Tears still come. Its taken me this long to even discuss it.
Why didn’t you discuss this with the OB doctor..... (i’m thinking seriously?) I give him the look. Him: Did you tell him?
Me: Well.... I mean he knew but I didn’t discuss how bad it was.( did sort of discuss it with him on different occasions, the last being when he took out the IUD. That doctor knows that my minor little comments are usually not minor and are a lot more than that, I have wrote about that in here. This last one was IUD is causing contractions and have to take something for the pain. Its causing my stomach to hurt. His comment was We don’t want that. Done end of conversation with him…to his credit he was pulling the damn thing out at the time. I could write about that doctor forever. He’s my McDreamy right now… Not the one I’m calling House)

Of course he brought up my weight.....more discouraged. Feel like I should suffer till I loose this baby weight. Fuck me.

Its made me cry all day..... part of me says fuck it I will not go. I will manage like I do.. The other part knows it beyond me and that medication is not working. That muscle is not working. I still don’t want an endoscopy. I know this doctor will insist on one.