my grandfather. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.
- Aug. 4, 2016, 4 a.m.
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- Public
ok so firstoff he’s still here. he’s 96 turned 96 last month the 23rd. He’s my mom’s dad. he talks, a lot. and he talks about things that aren’t interesting to me. like business or finances or.........w/e. Sure when you meet him for the first time you might think ‘oh well this is cool i get to hear the stories’. yes but he talks. so.much. And he’s said in the past he wants to get to know me. well he should..........talk about stuff..........that’s interesting to me which he’s started doing a little. But I hate repeating myself and i’m pretty quiet and I don’t want to talk louder for anyone so. actually whenever people do I always feel like they’re ‘yelling’. see i don’t think i’m that quiet. like when I talk. I just think that everyone else is loud. and also. i don’t have much to tell my relatives that’s not.like really personal. i mean i don’t work and i don’t go to school so. and i’d much rather not talk then make small talk over nothing. it’s ok we don’t need to talk we can just sit here. but i’m ok w/ where my grandfather i are at.
um so he. and i think part of this is bc he’s a leo.likes to have an audience. I interestingly enough am not one of those people. he’s kindof like Nick Cannon on AGT. i’m not a lookit me type. my uncle’s like that my dad’s brother. Well so my grandfather has people living w/ him. Maurice and Lois. I’ve met them they both seem nice. though there’s something about Maurice i don’t like. they’re both hispanic Maurice is from mexico i think. Lois is homeless. and maybe i only see the good parts of them bc i haven’t been told otherwise. and i’m ok w/ that. i mean if i was told otherwise it wouldn’t do anything for me so.
well my mom.doesn’t like he has people living w/ him. and recently they were talking and he told her he didn’t like it. and she’s like ‘well i’ve been telling you that for yrs. ‘ yes well people don’t want to listen. I didn’t and still don’t. And in my experience the best thing to do for people who don’t listen is to.leave them alone about it and let them figure it out themselves. i mean sure be there if they need to talk about something but also.leave them alone about it. I don’t really know Lois that well when i met her she seemed nice. but it seems to like really........bother........my mom. I don’t know Lois other than being told stories about her. and i’m the kindof person who thinks people should experience things for themselves. if I got to know her i might think differently. I think since my grandfather’s 96.........well..........i mean if he enjoyys the people then who am I to stop him? [well ok but the other side of that is it’s like saying to a heroin user ‘do what makes you happy’ well but if that’s what makes them happy then........that’s not good]. I’m not going to tell him i don’t think he should. also that’s really not my place and even if it was I’d.........be really uncomfortable doing that. [it’s a good thing i don’t have anyone to be responsible for w/ how i am. if evan for example um. well ok so he drinks quite a bit. and even though we’re close i’m not going to interfere w/ that. i’m not going to take over like my mom would w/ people. at most i’ve toldhim i’m worried about him. also he knows he shouldn’t drink so telling him that won’t do anything so there’s really no point to doing that. no i usually respect the right that people have to make the choices they do even if i don’t like it.].
evan btw wasn’t living w/ me.no he was staying w/ me. my definition of someone living w/ someone is they bring some of their furniture into the place where the other person is. and then my sister got involved and then my mom got involved.......of course. and that’s why I don’t tell my sister much. can’t be trusted to wait that one. but I’ve written about that before so. I just don’t agree w/ the way my mom’s handling this.
My mom when she was telling my relatives this on um Sat. was saying that she would help my grandfather find people to live w/ him. yes well i don’t think he wants that. I don’t actually know but that’s my guess. and I’m saying that bc I don’t want that I could be totally wrong about him. that’s another reason i’m not in a day program. is cause i don’t want people to find people for me. that’s why i’ve never asked. if i want to talk to a random person like if I have a question I’ll do it of my damn accord. i don’t need people to do that for me i mean i’m not 2. [which is weird that no one’s asked me the reason i don’t want to be in one. which i like. like ok great we’re in a good place here.w/ this]. again. i’m not 17 anymore. i don’t need people to make my good choices for me. it’s my life not theirs. i’m 28 godamn yrs. old ya know? and if i get in over my head w/ things well ya know. so be it. i’m also and again a really private person.
ok so this was really about how i feel about the situation. but it’smy blog so i can put w/e i want.
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