a concise barrage in poetry

1.) Too many reformed churches, not enough deformed churches.

2.) Your English pub in Utica NY will be called “Drams Along The Mohawk”.

3.) Like Churchill’s approach to martini vermouth, I drive by a gym nodding toward it to affirm its existence then continue driving.

4.) Every time a lady makes an ill-thought-through attempt at bangs, Bettie Page’s estate should get a royalty.

5.) Get kicked out of a ren fest, just so you can well “MORE LIKE RENAISSANCE UNFAIR!” on the way out.

6.) I was sure he could complete the show without talking, there was not a doubt in my mime.

7.) We live in a world where “cat video aggregator” could be a legitimate job title. I’m not even judging, it’s just interesting.

8.) Hipsters prefer Trump speeches in the original German.