Little 5 month old. in Adventures of New baby and family

I look at this beautiful little creature. I love him dearly. He is definitely my heart outside my body. I know, I have 2 other children. Maybe because I know he’s my last and am cherishing his little cuteness. He can be a pain in the butt especially at night but looking into those blue eyes he’s irresistible. I know all mommy’s say there babies are beautiful. Its not only his cute little face but the cute little jesters too. I know he’s a miracle baby and shouldn’t be here but with the same breath I know he’s MEANT to be here.

The more I read , the more I’m scared for him. He’s hitting his milestones. Some not at the lightning pace as his brother or brothers but I know he had different circumstances and I’m not so apt to push him to do those things. Mostly because of his size. He was little when he was born......5lbs 8oz, he was under the 2500 grams. He’s considered a low birth weight baby. I was reading up on this and that in the future he’s more apt to have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.... I think of his father’s brother whom was that small and is now disabled with all that crap. Hoping that will not be his future. Of course I worry about him having ADHD as I had to get steroid shots with him not just once but twice. Man reading can put the fear in you and I still worry about autism. I have one that’s on the autism spectrum already and then there’s the fact his father is bipolar, schizoaffective disorder......whatever you want to call it.....mentally unstable. I guess sometimes I take a deep breath and think this little guy has come so far, I can’t continue to worry about his future. He’s made it this far with nothing more than being small and a mild case of clubbed feet. No defects or genetic problems (considering my age), not being born early like they feared. He came through all with flying colors. I take a deep breath....he will be fine.
He’s a calm sweet, beautiful little guy. ( he does get a lot of attention when we are out). He’s doing well. I live in the moment cherishing this little love and hoping he beats the odds again. I love the hugs, snuggle, cooing, laughing