a whole person without you in addressing the public

you told me, “i don’t think i can be a whole person without you”
i didn’t say it back
but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true

i told you that was scary
that it felt like lots of pressure
as though you were the one in deep
while i was not so tethered

you read between the lines, i think, that it was just a crutch
the truth is i was just afraid that i needed you that much

i didn’t want to say it
and commit it to reality
that you were more than oxygen
even more than gravity

i squirmed inside love’s atmosphere
we’d made a whole new planet
where you were always sedulous
and i was always candid

every time i held you at arm’s length
i now wish i’d squeezed you tighter
every time i held you full of weight
i wish i’d held you lighter

and now i’m without all my pieces
it’s pathetic how i’m wishing
that you miss me the same way that
my you-shaped one is missing

i know so little of your heart now
but i’d swear i always knew
that in some twisted, inside-out way
i’d be heartbroken by you