Weekend Starting Friday in meh...

Damn. I don’t even remember what I did on Friday.

OH! LOL

I went to see the band at a bbq joint in Ferguson with my friend, which seems like my only friend I do stuff with. I guess I can put her out there. I need to give her a nickname. I’ll call her what I called her in my A- making paper. RJ. So, yes. We went to see the band and they were short a vocalist. Come to find out that she quit the band, but left on a good note. I’m thinking that was great for her. They played and were still awesome that night. That will be a weekly gig on Fridays for them. Cool.

Saturday I was home during the day. With my phone being broken I couldn’t find the bus times so I could go to the store. It was rainy and cool and I didn’t mind that part, but to be out in it and have to ride the bus kind of added to my funk. I wasn’t really in a funk, but I’m not in the best of spirits when life isn’t on my side. I asked my son, who made is weekly trek to the central library, that when he gets close to home let me know so that I can at least get on the bus with him. Well, in my anxiousness to hurry and leave, I walked out of the house without my keys. Which I didn’t realize until I got home. I ran into a coworker at the store and we talked a bit and she offered me a ride and I declined (my foolish pride-will talk about that later) but ended up getting a ride after all because the bus was taking a while. ::deep sigh::

So I get home and realize that I didn’t have my key and my son’s best friend’s dad was coming home at that time. We talked a second about my car. I told him the transmission was out and he offered that I come to their house and chill a bit. This is the second man’s home I’ve been in and have felt ashamed to call myself a woman. LMAO We live in townhouses that are rather small, but it looks so homey and warm and just flat out nice. Mine? Again my style is that of 80’s 21yo bachelor who has no ambition in life. Everything I own is old, nothing has a place and I never seem to have enough space. My love seat and chair have stains on them, stuffing in the seating worn. It sucks. I never grew up with having that stuff of my own. Every room I sit in doubles as my living space, my vanity where I do my hair. I. Am. A. Slob. I try sometimes and honestly do give it an effort to keep my place at least smelling good, but no one comes to visit me anyway so I don’t care any more.

So after that HUGE aside…

Son finally came home and I went in the house to cook. My oven isn’t working properly so I made pizza in my grill pan on the stove with another pan covering the top. Turned out pretty good. Then I went to karaoke. RJ and I decided we would go and sing Get Down On it by Kook and the Gang. DJ wasn’t, well, DJing because he was going to the Lake for the 4th. There for his friend and back up, “Kung Fu Panda” (LOL) took over. It was a fun night. Lisa was on the bar upstairs, but the guy who was managing that night shut us down at 12 instead of 1. Made some of us upset.

Sunday went without incident. I cleaned the kitchen and realized I was running out of stuff I needed. I pretty much fretted and stressed the whole day about getting rent paid (I have over half of it and by the time I can pay the rest I will have to tack on and extra $150). I really effed up my money these days and the way I was trying to get out of it, I screwed up and found myself exactly where I didn’t want to be. Now I’m worried about finding something that will put money in my hand everyday. Something legitimate. The food truck/catering business is supposed to be my supplemental income, but we can’t generate funds fast enough or keep them before my sister tries to do the next thing. Every time she has an idea on where to get money, with the way things have been going I don’t want us to take losses more than what we have. I know it takes risks, but I don’t want to go into a fight with an arm and leg already broken. Then that’s money we will have to pay back somehow. If I could get a loan for like $5000 and my payment be like 150 or something then I’d be okay. I can get some particular debt off of me and I can move forward and try to save some money.

Monday was the day I didn’t think I’d be doing anything. I was asked if I wanted to go to a baseball game. I had clothes picked out, but I couldn’t fit my clothes and I was uncomfortable. The thing that’s been causing my bout of PMS finally reared it’s ugly face on Sunday, but Monday ruined my life with a vengeance. Everything felt tourniquet tight and the only thing I could fit was sweatpants and everything else was dirty. So in my infinite wisdom, thinking it would be cooler for most of the day wore a tank, some jeans and a jacket because I’m self conscious about my arms in tanks. Right. So it’s humid outside and I’m sweating. The box seats were great, but I was so surrounded by people that it was unbearable, but I bore it. I was still long enough to stop sweating. My head was itching, but we got pillbox caps for free coming into the ball park. It was a decent game until the Pirates scored. I thought we could make a comeback, but we didn’t. We left the game early and went to Ball Park Village to watch the rest of it. There I was over charged for one of those -A-Rita drinks. $9 for 16oz of swill that I can go to the grocery store and get a 24oz can for 2 bucks. It’s not fair. But she wanted to go drink there because the ball park would cost too much. I don’t think so. So the day was pretty much uncomfortable for me. I got home, unbuttoned my painful pants, settled in to watch some tv. I’ve gotten into Houdini & Doyle. Season finale last night and then I finished watching all the corny, alien attack themed sci-fi movies on the bootleg SyFy Channel, Comet. I don’t know why I waste my time only to be let down at the end because it was stupid. I guess I want to laugh because they are indeed laughable. Killer Klownz from Outer Space. The song was equally as bad.

That was the last thing I watched. I let the sound of the neighborhood fireworks lull me to sleep as I tried to get comfortable and soothe my aching body with gentle words like, “fuck you uterus…I own you…stop being mean to me…” and other shit like that.

The son was with his father. He’s been facebooking with me a little today so I know he is well.

And that’s all I have today.
Love and take care of yourself…

Kindest regards,
Sister