Seriously? in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

Ever more perfect examples of what the world is like with a boss who you never see who is also going steadily into senility.

Received a phone call last night at the office (went to voice mail obviously)… the call arrived after everyone had left for the day. So right there is your first sign of Boss… your secretary leaves at 4; mine leaves at 5; and I’m out of the office no later than 5:30. What are you doing calling at 6 when not only do you know all of that… but you are the person that told me all of that? Moving on. She leaves a voice message on my phone… that times out the machine. Seriously… she just talked until the machine hung up on her. What did this needlessly long voice mail talk about? Apparently, waaaaay back on the first week of this job (April) when I was handed someone else’s case file and told to write up an order… I didn’t do it properly (what a shock!) So I need to fix the wording about something but I need to get information from someone and I should fix it as soon as possible. THAT was the message. Not… “here’s what to put in there, here’s who to call to get that information, here’s what to do next.” Nope, just a meandering 3 minute voice mail about changing something somehow but do it soon. This, also, on July 1st. Which, by its very nature, she should know is a big court day. Because July 1st is the beginning of the Fiscal Year for this County… not to mention, the first friday of ANY month is Juvenile Court, which is my sole responsibility. Seriously… this woman drives me crazy. The good news? This woman drives everybody crazy, so at least I’m in good company.
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Then… off to Juvenile Court. Which I was scared as hell about considering that some of my passion cases were back up for hearing. WELLLLL.... I’ll get into that more later.

Remember how I call Up North County a fucking joke? Remember how my dad thought I was being unduly harsh and unfairly negative? Well… he should meet the lawyers and judges I talked with today. Because Juvenile court requires multiple attorneys (so, especially in this county, pulling attorneys in from all over the state) and the Judge is technically a District Judge (so she works in a large portion of the state). OF the comments I heard today:
(1) You should need to show a passport to get into this county. Sorry.
(2) I always dread Up North County Day, lets hope it goes quickly.
(3) Any new rules get made up since last month?
(4) Y’know, I don’t usually trust a client when they say their Meth Charge got dismissed, but it seems to always happen here. D’you know if that charge is still going?
(5) Coming here, it is always a question as to when I’ll lose my patience and just freak out. They used to have a bet going, and whoever got closest to start of the day usually won. (And this one was from THE JUDGE).

So… yeah, Dad. I’m imagining it. I’m lying. I’m coloring the truth because my experience and perspective are so skewed. OR everyone that has a law degree agrees with me 100% and this county is fucked up with a capital everything! I will admit, though, that such knowledge does not help me to determine a solution to my issue. It does however help me to accept that I am not crazy… I am not weak… I have not slipped the bonds of sanity and embraced the madness within. And, dammit, knowing that IS good as far as solutions go. If it is “just in my head” or I’m “not giving the area a fair shake” then my solution would be to wait it out, change my perspective, hope for the best. BUT knowing that, it means waiting it out, changing my perspective and just hoping for the best would be a BAD thing. The solution, then, is what I’ve already settled on. Get as much information and experience as possible, then get out. Preferably to one of the 17 “acceptable counties.” And… 17 counties may sound like a lot… but get this… in a state of 3.107 million people… we have 99 counties. Which means, if population were spread out equally, each county would have a little north of 31,000 people in it. Meanwhile… California, with a population of 38.8 million has 58 Counties. 17 counties is actually less than 20% of the possible counties.

Sorry, got into a Math Hole there. Anyway… solution is to leave. And the 5 Desired Counties (and 12 abutting neighbors) are what we are looking at. BUT, unlike as my dad suggested, we can’t and won’t just “pick up and move now.” He was most insistent upon this fact. And anyone that has to live in the real world, I would hope, knows you can’t just do that. (1) My wife just moved to Tiny Town. She’s been here less than 6 weeks total. Asking her to just pick up and move again is totally disregarding her feelings. (2) The only way I could just pick up and leave right now is if I had no plans or desires to ever work for a County Attorney again. You think it would be good for my professional reputation to just suddenly quit less than 6 months into this job? Really? (3) We can’t just move to a place… it would be good to have even the rumor of a hint at employment. Just “moving to a place” is kind of what got us in this mess in the first place. So. No. Even though the solution is to learn and leave… I can’t just pick up and evacuate on a whim.

Just to cover it briefly… court. Everything went mostly okay. The two passion cases? The one I thought that was going to give me the biggest trouble, let us go ahead with assigning a DHS worker. Good! Of course, I’m suspicious… what is she planning? But… at least we are in a better position to help those kids. The other passion case? The one where the little girl may DIE because her parents won’t get her medical care because they need all their money for meth? They didn’t show up this morning. THEY DIDN’T SHOW UP THIS MORNING! So… you have a court order demanding your appearance… this is the second time you’ve been required to come to court and not shown up… so what can I do, as The County, to fix this? Oh… my job is to take it up the ass and push it out until next month. Super. Well, I’m requiring the judge to put in a presumptive order that, since the parents have been non compliant, a DHS worker can track them down and demand medical records of the kid. I’m not letting a 4 year old die because of her Meth Head Parents!

And that, more or less, has been my professional day. There is a lot more that I need to do, a lot more that I will always need to do, and a lot more that I need to learn how to do. But… I’ve got to start being more okay with what I’m doing. Be okay with what I’ve accomplished, hope to accomplish more later, and keep working at it. That’s what I need to do, anyway. Mostly what I find myself doing is looking at my case load and vacillating between “This isn’t that much, I could get through this no problem!” to “Oh my god! Trying to single handedly learn how to do all of these cases is going to take forEVER. My kingdom for some fucking training!”

And… why not… since I’m talking about ANXIETY in a some ways… I will direct your attention to the following:
http://themighty.com/2016/06/living-with-high-functioning-and-hidden-anxiety/
I’ve posted that on a different Social Media for the last three days. Because I see SO much of myself in it that it is scary. Seriously, that is my adult world. Yo.

My weekend plans are thus:
Friday: House. Work on House. Play Video Games.
Saturday: Dad. Dad is coming up for the first time to bring “all of the shit he’s tired of” up to my house. My dad is stressed out and emotionally extreme about what he deems “clutter”. Therefore, if he can get it out of his space and into someone else’s… that is his favorite solution to clutter. It doesn’t clutter up HIS life anymore and he doesn’t have to deal with it anymore. Ufda. Hopefully, it will all go well. I love my dad but his stress on top of my stress does not jive well. Especially since, he has never lived in a town smaller than 100,000 people. I tell him Tiny Town has less than 2,000 and he’s convinced it is some Small Town Oasis, a paradise of Yesteryear. I’m afraid he’ll come here, have that attitude and pretend that it really is like that. And it just isn’t true. This place? Small towns aren’t idyllic paradises of Yesteryear. At least this one is a rundown, corrupt, meth-addled hole where outsiders aren’t welcome and the only change allowed is the kind that buys a soda out of the machine. (Because, yes, the soda machines will not accept dollar bills up here).
Sunday: My wife and I got married on July 2, 2011. That will be five years ago exactly on Saturday. But of course, she has to work. And so we celebrate on Sunday. When everything in this small town is closed. So… I’ll try to cook for her and that will be our “epic 5 Year Anniversary.” Quite a significant different from the show and seafood fantasy I wrote about us a while back, eh? Le Sigh. One day, some day, hopefully.
Monday: The Big Holiday! July 4… my wife is working. So, I’ll likely come into the office, too. I can’t really afford days off anyway. Not financially, as the office is closed on the 4th… I mean… I have a lot of work and organizing and paperwork to do. And Monday seems like a good day for all of that.

Hope my fellow Americans enjoy their 4th of July Independence Day Weekend! A request, if you’ll indulge me, to those inclined to shoot fireworks:
(1) Obey the law. I know it can suck, but it is there for a reason. And the police don’t WANT to ruin your picnic or backyard fun, they DO have more important things to do… but if you are breaking the law, it IS their job to cite you and/or stop you.
(2) Don’t get injured. It may seem funny to jam a Roman Candle up your butt; but it is less funny and far more painful than you think. And hospitals will already have too much business this weekend from boating accidents, domestic violence injuries, and drunk driving accidents. They don’t need to be interrupted by your stupid ass.
(3) If you are a dog owner, keep your dogs indoors as much as possible during the evening. More dogs are lost on July 4th than any other day of the American Year. Dogs have awesome hearing. Don’t be that dick that tries to traumatize your dog. Take care of the puppy.
(4) If you ARE planning on doing a neighborhood spectacular with fireworks… try to find out if any of your neighbors are Veterans. Try to find out if any of your neighbors will have guests (or they themselves) suffering from PTSD. Because… then you may want to work with them on ways to help… or you may want to relocate your spectacular. Because… our vets, especially our vets with PTSD, are having a hard enough time leaving war behind. They don’t need explosions going off all around them.