storm over Florida in poetry

there was a storm over Florida that night
when he was shot
when I was a kid
two-thirds of a lifetime ago at this point

my parents woke me up
I was twelve
it was the beginning of summer break
it was around two or three in the morning
something had happened
they had to go to the hospital
watch over your brother
stick by the phone
here sit up on the couch

this was the early nineties
there wasn’t an internet as we understand it
only dealers and doctors had cellular phones
the network teevee channels still
all shut down at one thirty after Letterman
most of what was on the cable was
infomercials for blenders and exercise bikes
watch some teevee and we’ll call
if we are there for a while
in the morning your grandparents on the
other side of the family will come
pick you two up
you and your brother up
but just watch the teevee and wait, okay?

there wasn’t much on but the weather channel
with the bright colours of radar sweeps
with the soothing soft jazz in the background
around a quarter a century has passed and
I still remember
there was a storm over Florida that night
when he was shot
when I was a kid

it would be hours before I knew that my cousin
my childhood hero my older brother figure
the one who was going to make it out of this town
was going to be a radio deejay
everyone was going to know his voice
had been shot in the head at a graduation party
by a close friend of his who had a gun
a gun and rapidly blossoming schizophrenia
it would be hours before they pulled the plug
down at the Cooperstown hospital

but it was all already done
everything had already happened
or was in the motions of happening
no turning anything back
I didn’t know any of that
I just knew that something was wrong and
I was supposed to stay up and watch my little brother
listen for the phone and wait
all I knew was that
something was wrong and
there was a storm over Florida

a whole lifetime later
someone born that night
could have a masters degree and children by now
a whole lifetime later
a madman walks into a nightclub in central Florida
kills fifty people who just wanted to dance
just wanted to flirt and dance in a place that was safe
all it took was a damaged man and
a country damaged enough to let
damaged people walk the streets with weapons of war
and
they weren’t safe anymore
no one is
no one ever was
not while we’re damaged enough to let
damaged people walk the streets with weapons of war
there’s a storm over Florida
again

again and
again and
again and
again and
again
there’s a storm over Florida
again