Anti-Depressant Hypoxia. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Whenever someone suggests yoga to deal with depression, I know immediately they have absolutely no fucking idea what they’re talking about.

No secret I’m a gymrat. Obviously I feel it helps me deal with depression and ew moods. But it is NOT some magical cure. Whatever endorphins are at play, I don’t dance out of the gym singing the praise of the world. At best, I feel a little better than I did before.

At worst, I feel exactly the same as I did when I came in, regardless of whether I felt super depressed or actually in a good mood. Usually, I feel better. If I came in super depressed, maybe I’m just a little depressed. If I came in neutral, maybe I feel okay. And if I feel okay, maybe I’ll actually be able to break a smile. On lucky days, I’ll go from neutral to feeling good.

I joke that after a heavy set of squats, there’s simply not enough oxygen to the brain to allow intrusive thoughts. Meditation doesn’t work for me, because turning off my brain simply isn’t that easy. Sitting in silence and darkness will only escalate my wandering mind. Focusing on nothingness is extremely difficult and massive props to anyone capable of it. Squats and deads are my meditation. In those oxygen-deprived moments, there is nothing else in the world and all the stray thoughts are quiet.

(Well, unless I have a girl on the brain. But usually I use that energy to create a primal motivational chant in my head. Why not, right? And didn’t I say something about stray thoughts? This is one of them.)

At best, lifting gives me a temporary boost to my mood. The key word there is TEMPORARY. How long it lasts depends on what stimuli I’m exposed to for the rest of the day. A perturbing text five minutes out of the gym can shatter that vibe. All moods ebb and flow with our daily lives. And hence why I hate taking days off - not having that small boost makes it very difficult to get through “rest” days. On a good day, that temporary boost quiets my anxiety enough that I’m able to do more Good Things for myself, which maintains my mood.

I don’t dislike yoga. It’s just not my Thing. Going through the motions of yoga actually makes me a little anxious. Yeah, try to figure that out. And this isn’t about lifting being someone else’s Thing. It’s about finding some healthy coping device that, for a short period, blots out intrusive thoughts. I would no more suggest lifting as a one-size-fits-all coping device any more than yoga. But it is just that: a coping device, not a solution. That’s why suggesting yoga or another form of exercise is asinine. Understanding the nature of their aid would preclude their suggestion in the first place.

(And then there’s how depressed people generally want hugs, not to be a problem to be “solved”, but that’s a whole other entry. I mean, if exercise “fixed” everything, wouldn’t everyone do it without motivational problems? Duh.)